Our Family Story :Rwanda Adoption

1800a Approval!

2012-02-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

Yeah! We got our 1800a approval last week- Jan 26. our fingerprint appt was supposed to be Jan 31, but we went early as a walk in and (prayer answered!) they took us. We submitted our application Dec 21st. So not too bad of a wait! Now we "hurry up and wait" to get our LID (log in date) by finally sending our finished Dossier to China! Nana was nice enough to spend monday running around getting the 800a approval notarized and state authenticated, then to send it off to DC to be State Dept and Embassy authenitcated- A mere 250$ for a piece of paper to receive lots of lovely golden paper seals.
Now, best projected time to go and bring Baby Sister back from China is August. Such a long, hard wait and a broken system- of which there is no easy way over, under around or through.

Thoughts on the Bible's adoption directive

2012-01-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

On this Martin Luther King Jr day, I like to reflect on the life of a true foot soldier for Christ. Dr King was not just a sit-on -the sidelines kind of Christian. He was a man of action, a man who embraced love as a foundation of Christ's teachings, and a man above all with a deep love for our Lord. His life ended tragically short, but the seeds of Love and tolerance he helped to plant brought real, lasting change to millions of people. I am sure without him, my family would not be the way it is today and our precious son would not be ours. I am very, very grateful God raised up Dr King to deliver His message to the world.

Today I made a frantic night time trip to Fedex to try and get 3 documents for our dossier authenticaed which "expire" on friday. (pass China's 6 month mark). I am praying it will still happen although it's going to be a close call. I'm still waiting for my birth certificate to come from it's state authentications department, and for out 1800a approval. In the meantime, we sent baby sister a recorded Christmas story (a bit late, but better late than never) and a panda toy and some treats for the nannies. We also send a care package for Chinese new year via Red Thread and Ann ,who is wonderful. We took the kids to see a show Shen Yun, an exposition of Chinese culture, music, and culture. At one point, my daughter said "this is soooo relaxing then drifted off to sleep". We are trying to do everything we can to expose them to chinese culture of thier sister and continuie to do so after she arrives home. We had dinner in Chinatown afterwards and explored the shops and back alley ways of this little jewel of Philadelphia. We even discovered a lost kitten living in a column of a Buddist temple, which sent us on a scavenger hunt to find cat food in china town. (we did find some, but my attempts to catch said kitten were met with hissing and spitting so we had to be content to leave food)
I would like to start an adoption/ foster care meet-up through our Church, so I am starting small by doing a series of articles for our church newsletter. here is the first one I've written - I hope you find it interesting!

I love being a mom. I never said my daughter went through the terrible twos, it was the "tremendous" twos. While other parents happily ship the kids off to Grandmas, it was a year before I let my baby spend even one night away from me. Months of blissful - but -ordinary mom-hood passed by, but I felt a critical component of my life was lacking. I had been looking for ways to get involved in my community and serve the Body of Christ. I wanted to not just sit on the sidelines for God, but serve actively. I want to help others in a Christ-directed manner and be a Godly example to my daughter. So, I prayed what my Grandpa John Jones, (who was a Church of God minister) used to say was the Most Dangerous Prayer. "Dear God, Use me to do Your Will". It's a simple enough prayer. It's dangerous, because when you pray this prayer, you may not get the answer you are expecting but you should be ready to listen! I was looking into soup kitchens, teaching English to immigrants, or working at a women's shelter. All wonderful ways to serve Christ, but nothing really gripped me. At the same time, I was feeling that our family was not yet complete. One day, while praying my Most Dangerous Prayer, about 100 scenes of my life flipped by like a vintage silent film, and I saw that so many seemingly meaningless moments in my life had actually laid a foundation, formed me, sent me, and landed me in the moment with what i felt next. I felt as though God was telling me "You will adopt a child. He will be a boy and his name will be Elijah." Just like that. Case closed. Not exactly a 1 hour- per -month commitment I had in mind, but I like to joke when God says jump, we should say "how high?" My next steps in this Journey involved sharing this with my husband, who was happily open to the idea from the beginning. Fast forward through almost a year of paperwork, doctor's appointments, notaries, stamps, social workers, fingerprints, more notaries, more fingerprints, and finally, at 2:11 am 11/11/2009, I opened an email from Rwanda and saw our baby's photo for the first time. I'm sure it goes without saying- he was a boy, and we named him Elijah. He's been an incredible blessing to our entire family since that moment.

What does the Bible have to say about adoption? James 1:27 states "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I love this verse, and it has brought much comfort through the difficult times adoption inevitably brings. ( In fact, this verse was preached on the exact Sunday we were looking to God for guidance on whether or not to pursue adoption of a daughter from China, a story for another day) But the Bible does not just direct us, as the Body of Christ, to look after orphans. In fact, it says we ourselves are adopted by God . " For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love 5 Hec predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— 6 To the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. (Ephesians 1:5-7) None of us are perfect children for God, but He loves us anyway. None of us are blameless like His Son Jesus, but He wants us anyway. He wants us enough to make us HIS children-- to adopt us through Jesus. In God's foundation plan for salvation, adoption plays a very central, critical role. Like an orphan without a father, we don't stand a chance without God. We have no opportunities to grow up loved, no one to encourage us, no one we belong to. It is a story with a tragic ending, just like it is for millions of orphaned children around the world. The power of God's love and adoption through Jesus changes all that for us. It gives us a future, a past, and a direction. It gives us family, both on Earth and in Heaven. I believe that before we talk about earthly adoption, we need to realize how Heavenly adoption has "rescued" us! At another time, I would like to share with you the state of the world's Orphan crisis, both here in the US and across the world. I hope you can see the powerful ways God is calling people all across His creation to literally look after the orphans and widows in distress. It is my hope that Christ's people will not just agree that James 1:27 would be a nice thing (for someone else) to do, but will pray, search, and question what this means to their life. We can look into ways ordinary people can answer this call, while very much realizing not everyone is able to provide direct care for an orphaned child via adoption. There are simple ways to be the hands and feet of Christ which everyone can do, regardless of their particular circumstances in life. I hope you will enjoy learning more about adoption, orphan care, and the critical role we play in fullfilling God's directive to "look after the orphans and widows in their distress".

January 16th, 2012

paperchasing to China...

2012-01-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

So we are still plugging along in the paperchase now, which was difficult at Christmas knowing our daughter is not with us.
We mailed our delaware homestudy to be authenticated on tuesday, and also my CA birth certificate to be authenticated. We got our fingerprints -(This was prayers answered!) almost 3 weeks early by going as walk-ins on Dec 30th for i-800a approval. now we are waiting on approval of the 800a and we have to go get state dept and chinese embassy authentication for the rest of our dossier. The kids make cards and letters to baby sister, and we recoreded a read-aloud book in our voices of the Christmas story for her. we still have yet to decide on a name! maybe we will wait to see her. We are grateful God has decided to lead us down the adoption road again, and hope by march- june we will be growing our family with baby sister!

homestudy

2011-10-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

We had our homestudy tongiht. Kerry, from Madison adoption associates, was very nice and I think it went well. Kids were on good behavior and only 2-3 pets tried to crawl on her lap at any given time. WE also got our "pre approval" letter from China on Oct 16th, basically saying we are "pre approved" to proceed with adoption. Yeah! I also mailed off a care package to baby sister today. Any Ideas for names? We have an "e" theme going on in the family, but are open to anything as long as it doesn't end in "-dyn" or make the top 10 list of most common names. ( since I'm a "jen" most common name the year I was born, I don't want to do the same to my daughter!)

And baby makes 5!

2011-10-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

Well friends, it's been awhile since I have updated my blog, partially because after all the "dust settles" on the excitement, stress, wonder, and glory of adoption, life pretty much becomes business as usual. I guess I have not really embraced blogging the "boring" events of daily living. But things are about to become really, really exciting around here again. Let me give a little background on the behind the scenes of the last 6 months or so.

While the first year home with Elijah had it's stresses and challenges, mostly related to bonding, changing family dynamics, and sibling rilvary (albeit mostly friendly) the second year truly has been going well. Kids are both potty trained, getting along well, and as parents our initial struggles with bonding have resulted in deep, true parental love for our son. Things were going great! Ordinary, routine, wonderfully well. And with that, a little thought started to creep into my heart. Quiet at first, and then a little louder week by week. First, I ignored it. Then, I started to venture online again (uh oh). "Your family is not complete. There is a daughter for you waiting." So I started to look at photolisting on Rainbowkids.com, a photolisting focusing on children with special needs. What I quickly discovered is that "special needs" in America means a totally different thing in the realm of adoption. Images of severely disabled children with significant physical and mental handicaps is what I previously had imagined special needs to mean. What I quickly discovered is that something as simple as a cleft lip, long since repaired and healed, qualifies as child as special needs. An extra finger, a cardiac murmur, or lazy eye. Simply being a boy, or of toddler age. Otherwise healthy children, as a result of "special needs label" are being passed over for adoption because most people, including myself, were too afraid to consider them. Education is a wonderful thing. It opened my mind and heart to the possibility of a child with such a label. This is not to ignore the children who do have more significant handicaps or consider them any less in need of a loving, safe family to call their own. Thank God there are people who answer the call to care for these children, but there are many families who are not in a position to take on the huge responsiblity of a special needs children due to their current family situation. But those same families who might not be able to parent a child with more severe disabilites may find they are willing and able to consider a child with the special needs "label" if they learn what that label really means. (So if you've never considered special needs adoption, I urge you to educate yourself and reconsider!!)
After several months of looking at listings, requesting more info, and learning more about special needs adoption programs available, I felt like I had put a boat in on a lazy river, and the rapids were picking up. I sent off for another copy of my birth certificate "just in case". I ordered the background checks for my husband and me. Made medical appointments. Bought- gasp- a binder. Red one at that. (Lucky color in China) The current was getting swifter. Unfortunately, at this point, I was in to boat by myself. My husband was not convinced. I kept praying "God, if you want me to travel this road, you know I can't do it alone. Please change my husband's heart and make him happy about this idea!" The kids were certainly on board. They asked almost daily if we can get another baby brother or sister. (as well as a kitten, but that's another story) They offered to share toys, and t hey offered to share the bunk bed. Months went by. I showed him file after file of precious children needing a family. Each file came and went, being eventually adopted by other families (thank God for that!) File after file, I finally gave up for awhile on the whole idea. But the feeling I had a daughter waiting came back with a vengance. It nagged, it tugged, it preocupied me constantly. I tried again. I prayed again. Finally, I opened a file of a precious little girl with a wry smile. She was 17 months old, from Shanghai, China. She was beautiful beyond words, insanely cute, and by all accounts mentally "smart" and physically healthy, save the fact she is missing her left hand. I scanned her file, and drew a deep breath when I saw her birthday- the same as my mother, who passed when I was 16. I felt a familiar stab of confirmation when God is trying to tell me something. (Coincidently, my daughter was born 8 minutes before the anniversary of my mother's passing) I showed her to my husband, who agreed she was adorable, but stopped short of saying "yes" to proceed. I prayed. A lot. I prayed that if God wanted me to do this, why wouldnt give my husband a willing heart to do the same? I also prayed for confirmation this was HIS will, not the will of me simply wanting a large family. The next moring was Sunday. The new pastor, who is wonderful, started to preach on the first chapter of James. When he got to the 27th verse he read aloud "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. " A shockwave jolted me when he read that, and I tears welled in my eyes. I asked for confirmation this was the path we were supposed to take, and I got it. After service I casually asked BIll if he noticed what verse was read in Church that morning. Without hesititation, he answered he had. oOf all the ones in the Bible, one of the most prominent addressing orphan care was read aloud. That night we discussed the prospect of a daughter, but did not come to a conclusion. In the morning on the table was a note from my beloved, saying that we should proceed. Prayers answered!
I began to jump on the paper chase like a racehorse out of the starting gate. 2 weeks into the paperchase, we are where we were about 4 -5 months into our son's paperchase. Mostly done! Thank God for this, and for prayers to get 100% finisihed asap. This adoption is completely "backwards" from our Son's, since we have a child first, and need to do all the paperwork second. For our son, the last piece of infmation we got was his Photo, and that he was indeed a boy, and he would be Elijah just as I felt God was telling me. In some ways, it makes the paperchase much more personal, but also more difficult because it's not just an anonymous child whose photo I am waiting for, I know her name, who she is, and that the FASTER i finish paperwork the sooner we will get her home. We had started with an adoption agency for our homestudy that I just didn't feel good about from day 1. They were non-responsive, unconcerned about timelines, and to boot the owner had a new BMW suv parked outside. (just sayin') I called another family owner agency, and after a few moments, the social worker said- oh, you're adopting from China special needs program?" ME- yes Her- So am I! Me- REally, how old? Her- 17 months! Me- Us too! What is his special need? Her- He's --missing his left hand---. I couldnt believe it! turns out she also has 2 othre kids same age as mine, and she's only a few months ahead of us in the adoption process. Amazing. I called the other agency and told them to shred my application.
So things have been going great. Please keep us in your prayers for a smooth paperchase, safe travel, and that our precious daugher can heal from a life of institutionalization. Please pray for continued enthusiasm for her adoption with all family members, most of all, that the Glory for adoption always goes to God, who orchestrates it all.

Here's our current timelines
- Tues Sept 27. Baby's file appears in inbox. Start to seriously pray! Family discussions ensue
-Friday - we find out they would need to know by tuesday Oct 4th if we would lock the file or not.
-SUnday- James 1:27
-Monday - More family discussion
-Tuesday-OCT 4th FILE LOCKED JJ went to get fingerprints for Cogent Bill went next day
Thurs oct 6th- 1st visit to madison adoption asosciates to drop off application
Tues oct 11 - get passport photos Get JJ fingerprint results.
Thurs oct 13- second visit to MAA for NJ child abuse clearances. Mail clearances to NJ Get Billl's fingerprint results from state.
Monday Oct 17th Fist homestudy viist scheduled.
To bE cont!!

Adoption video- finally!

2011-07-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

I loved watching adoption day videos when we were in the process of waiting for Elijah's referral, and vowed to make one (some day!) when we adopted our own precious child. So, I'm a little behind but here it is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mqQK8C-ork

I hope families who are waiting (and those already home) enjoy this "slice of life" for Elijah's adoption and first year home!

One year Home

2011-01-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

December 7th was the one year "gotcha day" for our family, and Dec. 30th was the day mommy and Elijah arrived beaten and exhausted and projectile vomiting in the detroit airport, narrowly missing the flight with the Amsterdam show bomber, thanks to God's hand on us. What a difference a year makes! Elijah is sitting with his sister laughing along to "Cars" video in the other room as I type, and daily hugs me and tells me "I love my family". Big sister has grown beautifully into her role, and know how to soothe her little brother when he's sad, holds his hand to cross the street (or even the room) and enjoys "teaching" him every little thing. I think she's a better sister than i ever was (sorry to my own brother!) Elijah is telling us lots of little stories, runs, jumps, and is extremely affectionate. We are blessed in so many ways. I am grateful to God that the half dozen or so books I devoured in the few short weeks between getting Elijah's referral photo, realizing we were about to adopt a toddler and not a baby, and freaking out about attachment disorder, then finally putting our trust in God and getting on that plane, have been stashed away sitting dusty on the shelf and mostly unused since their purchase- Elijah's bonding to us was as seemless as it could possibly have been. As parents, things were a little harder for us, now balancing 2 kids, 2 jobs, and a myriad of health issues with our new son. From day one, though, I knew we made the right decision. There are difficult days for us, but over time, the deep love of a parent for child grows daily. Elijah is truly our son. Just as a marriage is put together by God's hand, so is a family. We are excited to watch our family grow and see what the next year will bring.

Walk for Water

2010-10-01T20:25:00.001-07:00

Our internet friends the Greer's (who adopted their son from Rwanda) are hosting a walk to raise funds for clean water for orphans in Rwanda. We plan on walking tomorrow and meeting our friends in person!
Check it out and lend your support to a very worthy cause-

http://four4-more.blogspot.com/

For a quick update on us- Elijah is thriving and getting more talkative every day. To say he and his sister are in love is an understatement. WE've had an awesome fun packed summer with day trips every friday with a friend of mine. We managed to hit sesame place, Ventnor beach, longwood gardens, the philly zoo, camden aquarium, hershey park, and finally we are planning a New York city get-away next week and will try and post pictures. Phew! We tried to make the most of the summer and I think we did our best! Elijah and his sister love day trips and helping mommy plan them. We gotta make up for lost time for him!
I can't belive his 1 yr "gotcha" day anniversary is only 2 months away. God has blessed us in amazing abundance.

See y'all tomorrow at the walk for water! God Bless!

Sweet 16 - 2009 Adoptions in Rwanda

2010-06-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

http://adoption.state.gov/country/rwanda.html

I was just reading on state dept. web site about 2009 Rwanda adoptions. I knew we were one of the "pioneering" families to adopt from Rwanda, but I did not realize we were only one of 16 families in 2009 to bring home a precious child from Rwanda. Only 49 adoptions in the last 9 years have been documented from Rwanda. A very, very small number in a country with so many orphaned and abandoned children. While deep in the adoption process, several families including mine shared an email web-ring with each other in which every scrap of progress from the Rwandan governement, any tiny detail about paperwork, approvals, or updates was shared privately with each other. I lived, ate, and breathed Rwanda adoption news. Seemed like everyone was adopting from Rwanda! It really helped to make the wait easier and feel like we were all in this "together". It also was wonderful to hear news of so many adoptive families beginning their Rwandan adoption process. In the thick of things it seemed like so many people were adopting Rwandan children in need of families. But 49 in 9 years is a cold hard number. That is only about 30% of the 150 kids who were at the Home of Hope orphanage when Elijah was there. Some other adoptions are taking place from other countries but still the need far outweighs the number of eligible families. I want to encourage you if you are reading this blog to not be daunted by the small number of adoptions from Rwanda. We found the process smooth, professional, and with direct government oversite to help ensure the well being of the children. The kids are waiting for parents to love them. Only 16 parents came last year but 16 lives are changed forever. Don't wait any longer to begin your adoption journey and follow God's direction to care for orphans and the fatherless. The Home of Hope is truly a refuge for the orphans, no matter how simple it is. If you are looking for a way to help the orphans of Rwanda but are not in a position to adopt, I can say from personal experience the Home of Hope is in desperate need of clean water. As far as I know, almost every child adopted from HOH had giardia and other preventable water borne parasitic infections. (and the concurrent diarrhea & malnutrition) You can donate money directly to the Home of Hope and you know the money goes directly to the kids. There is no middle man, just Sister Gracias / Mother Superior. (in other words, your donation is in the best of hands)
It may have only been 16 kids, but I think of it as "sweet 16" for the families who are blessed with our new children and the children placed forever in families.

http://adoption.state.gov/country/rwanda.html

Elijah at Disney

2010-06-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post a quick photo of Elijah meeting Mickey mouse for the first time- this giant mickey was at the airport, but he immediately recognized him and said "mou mouse". I love this photo of him. It's stored in my mind right beside the one of my skinny, weak son in a dark room filled with baby's cries, wearing a threadbare dirty onesie at the orphanage. I don't ever want to take for granted how blessed we all are, or forget how our brothers and sisters across the world live. But what a happy time for all of us and a transformative 6 months this has been.

Happy 6 Month "anniversary" Elijah!

2010-06-07T08:08:00.001-07:00

True religion is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
—James 1:27

Today marks 6 months since we first held Elijah in our arms at the home of home in Kigali. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, still day time, but the nursery was dark as that is the time they put the children down to bed. He reached his little arms right for me, then after I held him a few minutes, he reached right for Bill. He was unresponsive, no facial expressions, and didn't wimper or cry for several days. I touhght he might have been profoundly autistic, or worse. But we were prepared for the worst. What a difference 6 months can make. Fast forward to last week, when we took a family trip to Orlando, FL. A beautiful, laughing baby brother and his big sister enchanted by the Disney light parade, playing for hours in splash pools, riding dumbo the elephant around and around, singing along with the Tiki birds, wide eyed on the jungle ride, and capticated by nemo and friends. (He mimics the seagulls from nemo saying "mine-mine"- so cute) I could hardly wrap my mind around the life he led before becomming our son. While I am so humbled by God's great hand at work in Elijah's life and the life of our family, I was painfully aware of how many children -orphaned and not- who lack even basic necessities while we have access to so much and are so incredibly blessed. My heart ached for the children left behind even as it rejoiced for our family and the miraculous turn of events in the life of our beloved son. Elijah has absolutlely transformed in 6 short months. He speaks little sentences, tells us 2-3 word "stories" tries to sing along wtih his sister, eats well with his fork, counts 1-2-5 blast off!, and --in my opinion, is not only a completley "normal" child but I think he's exceptionally bright! (and I think he's left handed, just like mommy and daddy!) What a wonderful blessing he is to our family. We celebrated his sister's 3rd birthday on Saturday (I can't believe it's been 3 years- happy birthday my little angel!) It was a Dora themed extravaganza- and he was such a little "ray of sunshine" participating in the scavenger hunt, wearing his little dora backpack, tugging at the pinata, and loving the cake and "dinner". (He was a little freaked out by the costumed Dora, but so were most of the toddlers. oops. note to self, toddlers freaked out by giant costumed people. One concerned little boy asked-- mommy, does Dora go back into the cartoon after she comes to see us?)
Healthwise, Elijah is growing taller (1 and 3/4 inches in 6 months, that the ped is very happy with) and has put on 6 lbs in 6 months, but we were concerned at last week's pediatrician appt as he actaully lost 1 lb in 2 months. We noticed he is not as ravenously hungry as was in the past, but he's not supposed to lose weight. His stool has never quite been consistantly normal, but is does have more normal days than not. We have been giving him more milk, and he seems to be ok, but maybe we need to back off the dairy completely again and go back to soy. I wonder if other adoptive parents have has simlar growth stagnation periods? We are retesting his lead levels and also a full blood panel. Will update with results!

Looking forward- Who know about another adoption- Emilia told me she wants to "order a baby sister from Wanda so she and baby brother have a sister to play with." She wants her to "sleep in my bed since no one sleeps in my bed" (Emilia sleeps with us in the "big bed" along with Elijah some nights, but he gets squished and often asks to go to his crib) She even has a name- sister Patty. We'll see!
So I am sorry I have not blogged in a while but the adoption part of our story is over now- now it's just our family story. I will still keep updating though so people can see how he is progressing. I thank God every day for our son and pray other families will be called to adopt the children who were left behind and still awaiting their parents to come and bring them home. If you are considering adoption, there is no time like the present. What a difference a few short months can make in the life of a child. We have lived this expereince with our son and it is unlike any other. Seeing God grace and power -alive- in the life of a former orphan, now beloved son, is beyond words.

Journey to Elijah

2010-02-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

When I feed the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor are hungry, they call me a communist. — Dom Helder Camara

We have been enjoying 2 snow days here, with lots of good family time together which has been great for all of us. We had originally planned a 2 week trip to Africa to bring Elijah home, then I would take 4 weeks off to be with Emilia and Elijah together, but as it worked out, we were in africa 4 week and only home for 2 before we started having to leave the kids with a baby sitter 2 days a week.
I am happy to report, health wise, Elijah is doing great. He is starting to use his blossoming vocabulary to string 2 words together, as in "No Janey" (the dog) and "thank you" and night night. His first eye tooth also came in (he already has 12 other teeth though!) He goes potty pretty much every time we sit him on it too, but doesn't tell us when he has t ogo. He has fit in beautifully with the family and is gentle and sweet. Our perfect daughter, however, has been having some major sharing issues. Sibling rivalry has reared its ugly head. I think it will take time, and probably be a life long age old struggle, but ultimatley we hope they are loving brother and sister. She had done cute things with him though like feed him, help bathe and change his diapers, and hold his hand while walking. Elijah hates snow and cold however. I can't blame him, coming from a perpetual garden-like climate!
We hope he learns to love snow like we do, over time. We will keep you updated on his progress, but so far it's been absoultely mind boggeling, praise God!

One thing I do want to post about is the "Journey to Elijah" It was so much more than the adoption of our son. It was an eye opening, life changing journet. It centers on the issues of blessings, wealth, giving, and yes, sharing.
Our friend in Rwanda, Pastor Peter, said that he felt God told him if he were ever able to preach to Americans he should preach that we (americans) should pray to God in repentance, and pray for forgivness, instead of praying for blessings. I thought about this for awhile, and realised how many Sunday sermons center are on praying for financial freedom, praying for God to bless us, praying for this that and the other thing. I feel God wanted me to share this message too. Going to Africa was like no place I have ever been. We met educated, wonderful friends who would be right at home at our neighborhood block party or chatting at the office cooler at work, then to hear them explain how 2$ a day is a good salary, but 3$ is even better, and to hear about teachers making 20$ a month-- it just struck to the heart of me. I realized how people living in industrialzed nations (not just america) have riches beyond imagination for a huge portion of the world, and even throughout human history. And what do we do? We pray to God for more. More. More.
I imaginged God manning the phone banks at the huge prayer hot line in heaven, and a prayer comes in from America- Dear God, this financial meltdown has really hurt our family. The bills are piling up, our 401k has dropped, the mortgage is late, our credit score is dropping, the bills are mounting, we may have to sell the second car and downsize the house... God says, wait a second, I have a call-waiting-- hold that prayer- But you know how sometimes when the operator puts you on hold, you can hear what's going on in the background? Well, you over hear another prayer... Someone in the Kiburu slum in Africa- a widow-- Dear God, as you know my husband died from AIDS last year and now I am not long for this world. This isn't about me though, God, my 3 yr old is near death with diarrhea. I have no money for a doctor and no way to get there. The water we drink comes from the river where raw sewer runs in,our house is a few pieces of sheet metal with no electric or heat or floors or glass in the windows... please God, I just pray you just spare the life of my child. Amen. Now God turns back to you- Sorry for the interruption, what were you saying?
You are silent. Then you say, Lord, thank you for the riches I have which are beyond imagination for so much of the world. Please open my eyes to them, let me see the blessing you have given me and be grateful for food, for medications, for clothes, for electic, for clean water, indoor plumbing, for healthy kids, for a heater when it snows, for shoes for our feet, for our educations, for our families, for your Son Jesus. You have blessed me and my family unto the 7th generation. We are so grateful for you God, and the wealth you have showered upon us. Forgive us of our sins. Please God, use me to do your will. Use me as your hands, your feet. Open my eyes to suffering in the world and show me the way to help my brothers and sisters. Then you say, "Amen". To whom much is given, much is expected. Let us not lose sight of the big picture. We live in the big picture, after all, not in our little corner of it. Forgive me my sins, Father, and use me and my house to serve the Lord.

Emergency Room For Elijah

2010-01-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

Elijah has had a chronic cough since we adopted him, which had been over a month now. He saw the ped on tuesday, who wasn't too concerned and said he lungs were clear. He was so bad wednesday, though, he vomited everything he ate from coughing so hard. So thursday we went Back ot the peditrician where he heard crackels in both lower lung fields and sent us to the ER. Luckily we live by Children's hospital of philadelphia which is the best kids' hospital in the country. We had a good vsit there, and luckily a chest rad was clear. they gave him an albuterol inhaler to help with signs and thought it was RSV virus, and thank God they sent us home. But now poor Emilia had a 101.6 fever last night and was feeling pretty miserable. Poor kids!!! we need to go back to Africa, we were all healthier there ha ha.

The rest of Elijah's medical tests came back and there is a problem with LEAD. I wonder if other rwanda families kid's had lead problems? His level was "9" which is apparently not at lead poisioning level, but high-end of what's considered not-too-bad. I think it's because of all the cribs painted with lead paint at the orphanage. that's my theory. He was also slightly anemic. All other blood work, including re-test HIV, hep B, malaria, syphilis, thyroid, and wbc count was all normal. We are waiting on a HEP c test and stool results.

SO to any adoptive parents, MAKE SURE THEY TEST FOR LEAD!

We are praying to get two sick kids back on track. January isn't the healthiest month to do so but we'll do what we can!

HOME AT LAST

2010-01-04T08:33:00.001-08:00

Well, thank God we are home. Bill left us alone in kenya on Saturday Dec 26th, and we FINALLY got our visa to go home on Tuesday Dec 29, srriving home late wednesday night Dec 30. We waited 2 full weeks for our son's IR3 immigration visa in Nairobi. While I am still (quite) aggravated by the whole process and the incompetance and indifference of the US embassy in Nairobi, THANK GOD we did not get the visa Christmas eve. If we had, we would have left that night and traveled to amsterdam, where we would have boarded a plane from Amsterdam to detroit Christmas day. That was the plane with the bomb on it. God's hand was on the paperwork that day- although we were praying for it Christmas eve, God knew better. As it was, I was alone in kenya for 3 days but he gave me friends and helpers every step. A friend Rachel, a Jehovah's witness, from toronto, who gracioulsly helped me with my luggage not only in Nairobi, but also Amsterdam, then a nice man from Kenya / new jersery who lifeted my heavy suitcase for me and pulled it down afterwards, then carreid it to immigration for me. Finally, a nice immigration woman in Detriot (the only one I think i met in 4 weeks total)- who initially started in about how sick my child was, was he cleared by the CDC, etc- I was an emoitional mess by this time and was quite rude to her and the immigration man. She responded with pure kindness, putting me at the front of yet another long line, in which case I melted into incoherent tears and babbleing, apoligizing to her and thanking her for helping me. I think she forgave my rudeness when she realized what a wreck I was at this point. Then things went from bad to worse, at the detroit airport I waited 1 and 1/2 HOURS in a visa line only 5 people long, so I missed my philly flight. After waiting in another horrid line, i rescheduled the flgiht, then yet another security line (i think #6 at this point?) where another horrid rude TSA person barked at me to lift my suitcase, take off the BABY's shoes, etc. I started her down with an icy glare. It was not very Christian of me but I was a mother wolf at this point. These TSA people need major courtesy training. It's an abomination how they treat mothers with babies, old people, young people, everybody. Wasting our time all the while, it's clearly not enough and never will be enough to stop the real bad guys, and in the mean time everyone else suffers. Enough TSA rant.

Finally, I cleared immigration,scheduled a new flight, passed customs, security and the crowd was gone. All alone, we went up a gigantic pure white escalator with muzak playing in the background. I laughed to myself as I thought this looks like a scene in the movies with an escalator to Heaven. Far from Heaven, it was merely Detroit. LOL.
Elijah and I found a pretty fountain to sit by, and I made a much needed call to Bill. I was so happy to hear his voice. While i was talking to Bill, ignoring the baby, he proceeded to projectile vomit all over himself and a 3 foot radius around him. I saw people looking on in horror across the fountiain and wondered why- then I saw the vomit pile, and they saw an irresponsible mom chatting on her cell while a baby pukes. If only they knew our whole story.

We mercifully slept on the Philly flight, as the turbulance was apparently quite bad and had freaked out the gal next to me. I would have been a mess. happy I was so exhausted i didn't notice. The girls next to me heard what you never want to hear on a crowded plane when I sat down- I said, "Hi. I really sorry, but my baby is projectile vomiting all over everything. I brought you a waterproof mat to wear on your lap. I wanted to give you full disclosure up front. We've been traveleing for 30 hours at this point and I assure you this flight will not be as bad for you as the last 30 hours have been for me." That is exaclty what I said. Both the girls laughed (nervously) and thank God one was a mom of a 14 motnh old ad the other had been a nanny. Luckily Elijah didn't puke but slept like mommy.

We were greeted at the airport to a tearful reuinion with Bill's family, then suprised to see my dad and Deb and step sister becca and her friend Trent at our house. I have never been so happy to come home after a long trip. I heard it said it's a mother's duty to Endure. Well, I sure did. But Elijah is so sweet, doing great at home and even gettign sightly less pet-phobic. Emilia is having some sharing issues but doing ok.

Today both kids have a fever and Elijah has mouth blisters but he has a pediatrician appt. tomorrow. Also I need to bring about 6 poop containters along. yippee.

Over all, I am so incredibly proud of our family's calling to adopt our son. It's a crowing acheivement in our life and I am humbled God called us to do so. To God Be the Glory for this adoption. He called us, He Sent Elijah, and He brought us home. In His Timing.

Still stuck in Nairobi

2009-12-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

Bill left yesterday because we are just gone tooo long from our daughter - with a heavy heart we missed Christmas with her and our families but did spend it together here in nairobi wuth Elijah. It was a bittersweet Christmas. Christmas eve was special though, with people from Several nations sharing Christmas traditions. The Danish did a traditional " conga line" the mAasai treated us to a traditional song and dance ,, and the Australians ended with fireworks. It was a memorable night bur we would have liked to spend our first Christmas as a full family.
So status for Now

Trapped in Nairobi

2009-12-23T00:55:00.000-08:00

Well no good news on our visa. We heard from our awesome friend Leta at the state PA adoption clearance center that we apparently passed the Adam walsh screen! We took the letter to the consular today who said that is not tha Adam WALsh screen we need. It's something from the stAte dept. It's an entirely helpless process. We are trying to keep our spirits up but I looks like we will be spending Christmas here alone with Elijah, but we do have a christmas invite to go to a friends village, or spend here at the hotel with friends. So I will have surrogate family. If I could complain to someone here I would, but it's all nameless faceless databases. I DO NOT RECCOMEND NAIROBI FOR ADOPTIONS. I think addis abba must be better than here. They do so many adoptions and everyone who went there is home already. RWanda adoptive families will have to figure out how to get a Ethiopian point of entry visa or visa in advance then go to addis. Nairobi consular crowded, long lines, impersonal, unsympathetic, and to top it all off took my son's toy lobster everytimex we went through security. ReAlly? A toy lobster! ?
I cannot leave Kenya. We are trapped. On the bright side we upgraded our tent today and now have a shower and toilet in our tent. We're movin' on up at the Wildebeest lodge...

photos from Kigali and Nairobi

2009-12-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

THE FIRST PICTURE IS KIDS STANDING ON THE BROKEN WATER TANK AT THE ROCAS SCHOOL FOR ORPHANS (and also non-orphans- about 50% each) IT IS $1,800 USD for A NEW TANK -- THEY NEED 2 as they have no access to water. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO HELP I WILL GIVE YOU THE DIRECTORS EMAIL. THE SECOND PICTURE -- THIS IS THE DORBAND AND US AT THE GIRAFFE CENTER GETTING A CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH THESE MAJESTIC CREATURES!! WE ALL GOT "KISSED" TOO!

Stuck in Nairobi

2009-12-19T05:21:00.000-08:00

(PHOTO IS OF US AT ROCAS AID SCHOOL IN KIGALI SUBURBS -- A school we have been helping sponsor)
Well, granted there are much worse places to be stuck than in the heart of Africa, but with Christmas fast approaching and our daughter being 8,000 miles away at home, we are getting anxious to go home. We were told on friday -after 2 days of unreturned phone calls, emails, and even an in-person refusal to be admitted to the visa office, that we can check in "tuesday for an update". Our flight leave monday night. So we plan to camp out in the visa office at 7am monday and just pray for a small miracle.
For now, we have no idea what the hold up is or what the ETA of the visa may be.
But on a lighter note, we met up with the dorbands today and their Rwandan sons Levi and Judah and did a game drive in Nairobi national park, where we say lionesses stalking zebras, monkeys who took a banana from us, and beautiful giraffes tower over the savanah. It was a great day! Then bill and I went to the on -site animal orphange, where we "tipped" the guide in order to be allowed in with 2 adult female cheetahs- who let us pet them and they purred! That was five of the best minuites we've ever spent! Amazing!
Please join us in praying for a monday visa ! love from Nairobi.

In Nairobi kenya

2009-12-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! We are in Kenya now since Monday to process our visa. We had to sit at a health clinic for 9 hours at oim agency which was awful but Elijah was a trooper! The next day ( tuesady) we went to drop off our visa papers which took a mere 3 hours. Lol. Hopefully we get visa tomorrow or Monday- but it better be Monday cause that's when we leave!!
Elijah is coming out ochoa shell day by Day and doing well bur his cough and diarrhea are persisting despite antibitocs. I think I got him to say juice today! And he says oh! For uh- oh when he drips something. He also smiled at me this morning for the first time when he woke up. From a tourist standpoint, Nairobi is awesome. We went to a baby elephant orphanage today where they rear abandonded baby elephants. The young ones are only as big as a big dog!!! Sooo cute. A family of wart hogs ran out and rolled in the elephants mud during the bottle feeding session. It was sheldrick animal orphanage. Really fun. We also went to a croc farm and could touch a 15 footer thruogh the wire fencing. I also held a baby croc.
The trip highlight today was driving in nairobi national park, and seeing a dew vans stopped. We drove up to the vans and saw what they were looking at-- SIMBA! Swahili for -- lion king fans know thus- lion! A male lion within 10 feet of our car. I muttered an explicit because my window was down - we quickly roller up the window and sat in awe of the King of Beasts for about 10 mins. We also saw the elusive Cheetah in the thicket!!! An amazing morning. The only problem was Elijah got car sick from the bumpy roads and projectile vomited lal
over me several times. Luckily we had e tea clothes. U know it's a good day when u don't mind letting baby vomit air dry on you. Gods creation Is breathtaking and it's been a pleasure to see it up close and personal!! We find out to
orrow if we get his visa. Please pray for us!!
With love from nairobi-- jen bill Elijah

Day 4 thurdasy in Kigali

2009-12-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

We were supossed to get Elijah,s Rwandan passport today bit it wasn't ready. They told us tomorrow by 2pm, but bill very politely asked for8am and they told us 9 am. We hope and pray it happens! Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day in Kigali but I think we may change the flight to go to Peter our POA's church on Sunday. And maybe some more tourist things on Saturday . We did see the genocide museum today which was sobering, horrifying, and undescribable evil. To hear events described by our friends was so upsetting I had to try hard to hold back tears. One friend said simply- the devil entered everyone. They were no longer men. Our friend described how, as a 14 yr old boy, he wAtched as members of his family were hauled away and murdered. He was not saved at the time but prayed anyway to God who protected him and his family. He then went on to describe a road littered in corpses for miles on the way to a refugee camp. They were duing of thirst and the only alternative was to drink water so fouled by corpses it was salty. He prayed for God to protect him after drinking the water and he didn't get sick. This story wad so disturbu
ing I felt I had to share it, but I left names out in case the friends of ours didn't want it told. I think fir me one of the hardest sights was a childs outfit and superman sheet stained in blood, and a Cornell university sweatshirt from the dead. It makes you realize Rwandans are exactly like us. They are not an exotic far away society, they are our neighbors. I was so ashamed when I asked Peter what the united states did to help, and he was quiet for a second and said " I think, nothing". The conversation grew silent and I wished I hadn't been a 16 yr old girl while a million people were murdered, maybe I could have helped somehow. It certainly seemed like a chapter from Revelations. Watch and Pray folks, watch and pray.

Travel letter and lunch with friends

2009-12-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

We got our travel/ "to whom it may concern" letter today! That means Mugisha never has to go back to the orphanage again, he has a family. He Is a sweet boy, and he had a fin day and long nap today. He was a little lethargic though., and not eating well, with terrible foul watery diarrhea and a distended abdomen, and a cough/ snotty nose. So we took him to a 7th day Adventist health clinic. It was very simple. My husband and I marveled at the amount of money that childrens hospital wastes in a day, and how much good even a little bit could do here. The doctor was very nice and thorough, a french speaker but we co
municayed well with his English. It's amazing to realizeoat people here don't speak one or even 2 languages, but most speak 4 or 5! We did not have a stool sample so we have to go back tomorrow. The dr said he was negative for malaria abs his white blood cells were normal. The dr thought his lungs were clear but the abdominal distemsion cuold be from malnutrition. He gave us a multivitamin and oral rehydration salts. We want to make and appt at childrens hospital as soon as we get back. But I will look at their fancy building and expensive finishes with some dismay at the inequities in healthcare in this world.

l

Tuesady- day2 in Rwanda

2009-12-08T11:42:00.000-08:00

We were not ablrto get our to whom it may concern letter today which let's Elijah sleep with us so we has to take him back to the orphange tonight, but what a fun day we had! We picked him up at 7;30 and went to meet Peter our poa at the kigali passport agency to apply for elijahs Rwandan passport, then off to the us embassy to file our I-600 immigration form. Elijah was quiet and still with a faraway look on his eyes when we first picked him up but as the day progressed his smile appeared and he loved to play witb his monkey toy, be held, play wrestle with Papa, and play with the drAin in the tub. He also ate a ton at lunch-- we need to fatten him up as he does seem thin and malnourished. Nothing like steak and fries to clear that up! He was a lot of fun a ll day and we loved seeing his personality evolve through the day, blank stare replaced by toothy grin and silly giggles. He didn't even nap all day!
Tomorrow pray we get out TWIMC letter-- if not we may need to extend our trip as the minister of women and family promotion is out till Friday??? We had a great dinner with another aawa adoptive family tonight and " shared notes" on our schedules. We were also thrilled to meet special friends from rwanda, Robinson and Dorothy, who we have been supporting and communicating with over the last 2 yrs. Robinson runs an orphange and also is a Pentecostal minister. Dorothy is a young woman who lost most of her family in the genocide. We hope to help Robinson find sponsors for the kids and Dorothy to maybe go to nursing school in the USA. God is working in amazing ways in our lives and the lives of our Rwandan friends. I will end with this thought- bill and I were bummed a little that our trip wad in December because we would miss Christmas season. But holding our son I'm our arms, I realized were not missing it, we're living it. Thank you, heavenly father.

Meeting elijah!

2009-12-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

We arrived this afternoon but didn't catch up with Peter our poa until about 4pm, partially because I told him the wrong hotl room number. We are at chez lando hotel. It's Simple and a liile " worn". Our Kenya air flight went s
well and it's a nice airline. Peter took us to met
et veronique who was very nice and the secretary of the minister- also very nice. But they aren't sure we can get our to whom it may concern letter tomorrow- we need that for Elijah to be able to spend the night withu us. So we need prayers to get the minister to sign the letter for us so Elijah doesn't have to stay at the orphanage! b But the highlight of the day-- the moment we've been waithjbg a year for- came after our visit to the ministry of woman and hender. We pulled up in front of the blue gate at the home of hope orphanage. A very sweet sister from Kenya met us and took us down to see Elijah. We went down a long hallway with rooms on either size and voices of many, many children laughing.
, crying, talking and yelling. Each room had a few dozen babies and toddlers. I'm told there are over140 kids there. We went to elijahs room abs the nun went up and patted him on the head and said this is mugisha. I couldn't hold back the tears as she held him out to me and he reached his little arms for me. He's very tiny- much smaller then I expected. His sad little eyes had a faraway look
And he loved me to hold him up against my face,
I kissed his perfect tiny arms and then he went right to papa who held him close for another few mins until we had to put him back. I am humbled by gods plan for this child and his work to bring us this far. I am happy and blessed beyond words bill and I are to be used by Him in his plan for His son -- and our son-- Elijah.

Bill is in nairobi

2009-12-06T13:26:00.000-08:00

Yeah! Thank God bill is here safely!! Tomorrow morning we leave for Kigali to meet our son!!!! Praise god!!

In Nairobi

2009-12-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

Still in naiorbi at wildebeest tent lodge, a little oasis hostel in the city. I went on a game drive this morning jn naiarobi national park and saw wilf zebra, water buffallo, wildebeest, warthog , ostrich!, impala, gazelles, beautiful birds, giraffes, rhinos in the distance , and lion killed carcasses but no lions. Then I went to a factory that makes beads and supports single moms. It was a busy morning and unfortunatly my afternoon nap turned in a 7 hour jet lag sleep so Now its10 pm and I amwide awake. I never have trouble in Europe with jet lag but here it's going to take me a few days. Tomorrow lake Nakuru ! To see thousands of flamingos and hopefully hippos. And best of all bill arrives to join in the adventure and on to meet our son!!!!

In nairobi

2009-12-04T11:16:00.000-08:00

I made it with gods hands on the trip. I'm sitting in a comfortable lodge using my trusty iPhone to stay connected with the world.
I am rejoicing tonight!

packing crocs!

2009-12-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

just wanted to post a quick photo of croc-loaded suitcase, which were donated through 4-More a group of ladies dedicated to helping the orphans of Rwanda. These crocs came from all over the country i was told! They will be leaving with me on thursday!

Flying under a Full moon and African Skies

2009-12-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

In less than 48 hours i'll be on a night flight to paris, then an early morning flight to Nairobi. I will arrive friday night in Nairobi, and wait for Bill there -- he'll be there sunday night. I am not sure what i will do alone for 2 days but I certainly don't plan on staying in my hotel room. While I am so anxious to meet Elijah, we want to meet him together. So monday morning bright and Early, we will travel to Kigali to meet our son for the first time, and God will "take the lonely and put him in a family" We will feel so humbled and priveledged to be a part of God's plan for this little boy, who has not been forgotten by his heavenly father although his earthly parents are gone and he has no one to wipe his tears,hold his hand, or comfort him. We were told he knows the words for Mama and papa. I wonder if he means his birth parents, or he was just taught this by the nuns. He is probably old enoguh to remember his birth parents and has only been apart from them since July, when circumstances which we will never know separated them forever . I hope when he is told that Mama and Papa are coming his little heart isn't anxiously looking for his birth parents. But I know that love can heal a broken heart, so litte one, a Mama and Papa are coming- it may not be who you think, but we hope to make your mama and papa proud by raising you to love God above all, and love your family as much as we will love you, our son. Love, Mama and Papa.

We Passed Court!

2009-11-30T19:24:00.001-08:00

Elijah Mugisha Eymard Cropf is officially our son according to the Government of Rwanda. We are even on his birth certificate. Praise God for bringing us this far. We were also able to get our state PA clearance in ONE day, thanks again to God's hand on our journey. This was a last minute thing and our clearances were expiring left and right but with a help of a friend from my dad's church we made it!

So now i am trying to book plane tickets for this weekend. It's surreal to think we are getting a child this weekend. We are very nervous about flying, the journey, and the dangers of the trip, and especially about leaving our daughter. That is driving me sick. literally.

Please keep us in your prayer for a safe journey to Africa, to our son, and home again across the ocean to our daughter and life as a new family together.

baby feet and travel induced stress illness

2009-11-29T14:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks to friends and family who have volunteer 4 more suitcases! we have at least that many toys and clothes to send= awesome!

Our friends the dorbands were able to check Elijah's feet and thet are "19-20" we think that means shoe size. (which makes hime about 12 months/ size 3. We can't wait to get him little sock and shoes for his feet.
I do think I am the most stressed out the past 2 days as I ever, ever rememver. Comparable to final exams in vet school, or the final days of preganacy awaiting labor. But so stressed my head is in a fog and I feel physically ill. I am dreading the flight and trip itself but eager to meet Elijah.
Bill and I have made 2 important trip decisions in the "11th hour"
one- we are leaving emilia with bill's parents, and 2. we are flying separetly "just in case"
now we need to book tickets.

Friends are in Rwanda!!

2009-11-28T18:17:00.000-08:00

We are getting sooo close to holding Eljiah in our arms! in the mean time we are happy our friends are blogging away so we can follow their progress!
the Dorbands are another "independant" family (no agency) and here are their gorgeous boys!

http://dorbandsonajourney.blogspot.com/2009/11/day-2-with-boys.html

The Spore family is also meeting their son as we speak
http://sporesixgoingonseven.blogspot.com/
AND the Bowers :
http://www.bowersjourneyto.blogspot.com/
AND the Smiths:
http://www.racksadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/

These families have been along side us for most of the adoption journey through a daily (sometimes hourly!) email list group. We encouraged each other, shared any shreds of news in the long, long waiting process, prayed for each other and now we finally get to share in the joy of meeting our kids for the first time!!
The blog world is indispensible for adoptive parents and I am so grateful for this forum to share our adoption journey.

We may be traveling FRIDAY to meet Elijah but no tickets yet! we are frantically packing, spraying clothes with permethrins, cleaning and sorting the house, and basically running around like the proverbial chickens with our heads cut off.
But we are getting that mcuh closer to meeting our boy for the first time.
we can't wait!

Paperwork Panic

2009-11-27T14:18:00.000-08:00

WEll, our homestudy doesn't allow us for a greater than 15 month old baby BUT I wrote the consular in Nairobi and they said "as far as they are concerened the homestudy is good for the whole adoption" So I think we are ok there. That can be a note to other adoptive families if this happens to them, but I still suggest double checking with the nairobi embassy too!
Secondly, All of our police, child abuse, and FBI clearances expire Nov 26, Dec 1, and Dec 26 respectively. We apparently need a state PA clearance to re-enter the country. This is unique to every state. http://icpc.aphsa.org/Home/states.asp You can check if your state requires it by this confusing link. Out homestudy lady emailed us and told us make sure we get clearances, but it was a last minute thing. (not really her fault, we are not using an agency and only used her for homestudy)

God may be working a small miracle here however-- my dad lives in harrisburg and a woman from his church is a lady who-- PROCESSES state PA CLEARANCES!! (one of only 3 or four who do this-- she is "the lady" ) I talked to her today adn shes is going to try and get everything through for us if she can before we go, then just add those clearances to the file when we get back (we still need to re-do them)
That is a great lifeline at a time like this!

We have court on monday and then Elijah will be officially ours, then we are following our friends the Dorband's journey to see how long paperwork is taking them before we book flights. We may leave as soon as next friday!

I also got a wonderful box of crocs from the Greer's of 4-More raised by families all over the country. I stuffed them all into a donated suitecase from my dad, along with about 2 dozen other pairs of shoes, and filled all the cracks with beanine babies, clothing, washcloths, medication-- anything i could fit in a croc, i did!

We recommend vaccume bags to suck the air from clothes and stuffed animals. you can fit at least double!

That's the news for now-- court date monday pending, paperwork still flying, no plane tickets yet, excited to finally meet our son.

Between 7 and 28 months

2009-11-17T20:14:00.000-08:00

Well, to say there is confusion over Elijah Mugisha Eynard's age is an understatemnt. His medical reporst said his DOB was 29 march 2009, while an email from our POA said it was July 20 2007. A clarification to that put him more at July 20 2008. So, we really have no idea. The problem is, if he is more than 15 months old (WHICH he will be on FRIDAY) we have to re-do our homestudy paperwork and get it re-sent to Kigali.
Which means more delays. We did ask clearly for an infant but there was confusion on our request and the child is clearly much older. We are needing to "reset expectations". I wouldn't go so far as to say Bill and I were disappointed, but we were just expecting a baby-baby, not a toddler-baby. But two good friends both pointed out that our daughter will be able to play and interact with her brother right from the beginning, which will be a good thing I believe. God know what He is doing.
And I pray he doesn't forget the part about not giving us more than we can handle. ;)
We did hear about the circumstances by which Elijah came to the Home of Hope.
On July 20, 2009 he was brought to the authorities by a widow who lives in Kigali. The widow went to bed one night, and while she slept a child was left in her kitchen. When she awoke she found him. She herself was very poor and unable to keep him so she contacted the authorities. Someone loved Elijah very mcuh to leave him in a safe home. We can only wonder what circumstances led up to such a heart breaking decision. I think about the mother or family members who had to make that choice and I wish it didn't have to happen to them. While we are thrilled God has called us to care for an orphan, I wish we could also care for a mother so that she didn't have to lose her child in the first place. I am more sad right now for our baby's family than I am for him. I simply cannot imagine making such a mercy choice as leaving your son in the home of a kind widow.

Update on Elijah

2009-11-15T18:28:00.000-08:00

We heard from a friend in Kigali that she MET Elijah and said he has a smile that lights up the room and is walking all over the place! We are so excited to meet him! His birthday on his medical papers says he is 7 months old but his is walking with several teeth, 17lbs and 28" tall. We are very confused on his age but thrilled about his smile :) We may have info tomorrow about when we can go to GET him if all goes well!

IT's A BOY!!!!

2009-11-11T23:22:00.000-08:00

Well, insomnia pays. I was still up at 2:30 am reading "there is no me without you" and i decided to check email--and spam folder-- one more time. There was the file we have been waiting for for over a year. I ran down and woke up Bill so we could open it together. Out little boy -- Mugisha (blessing) Eynard (a famous priest) was looking back at us for the first time!
We are so excited and THANK GOD for this moment. We will keep everyone posted-- goodnight!!

Thankful thoughts for those who help us along the way.

2009-11-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

This is a post to thank all the people and agencies who have help to bring us here so far. Sometimes (often) paperwork is very frusterating and it's easy to lose sight of the hard work people do to help orphans around the world. First of all, I want to include the nuns at Home of Hope in our prayers who have a 24-7 duty to care for babies and children as best as possible, giving them as much love & tenderness as they can, as well as being the closest person to a parent some of them may ever know. They also teach them that Jesus loves them always and is their Heavenly father. Secondly I want to thank our Power of attorney, Peter, who is working tirelessly on our behalf in Rwanda and is so good about sending us updates on progess over there. He is a Pastor and a huge help. I also want to put myself in the shoes of the ministry for women and gender, who suddenly have a very large work load with all these adoptions that was never there before. I am sure they have additional needs for technology and staffing that have not been met yet that makes their job that much harder. We appreciate that the timeline for adoption from Rwanda is still much faster than almost all other countries and have to commend Veronique and the Minister for doing the best they are capable of.
So, that is my thanksgiving post.
Praying we get our referral soon!

Waiting & hoping & praying!

2009-11-10T05:53:00.000-08:00

We are so happy for FOUR of the families on our email list who got their referral yesterday, and in it pictures of their new children. Even though ours did not arrive, it was still an incredible experience to be emailing instantly as families got the great news. What a once in a life time chance to be part of such an amazing event as families all over the country "meet" their children for the first time. We are so happy for everyone, and pray our little one follows soon!

I had a dream last night (my second adoption dream) that our baby was about 2 yr old cute little girl but she had club feet. It was a very strange dream but not as strange as the one in which our "referral" was a teenage prostitute. I wish I could have a "normal" referral dream!! although when I was pregnant I dreamt once I gave birth to a kitten and another time that the baby had crazy blue- green eye shadow like the character on the drew carey show. So I guess the referral dreams aren't too far off.

In closing, my daughter hit us with another tear jerker last night. I went a little crazy and ordered a veritable library of books on adoption and on Rwanda/Africa so I can be a better educated momma for our Rwandan baby. E was going through a box of books and this is a little excerpt of her monologue "this one for baby sister, this one for me, I looking for wheels on the bus books to send to baby sister. She no have any books. I send her this book. I share with baby sister."
Then I asked her, where is baby sister? We had just talked about Africa so she said "In Africa. She coming in God's Car."
She is wiser than she realizes.
Still waiting...

reading list while waiting?

2009-11-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

So I was hoping today would be the day, but if not, HOPING for tomorrow!
In the mean time, I went on amazon and ordered a veritable library of children's books from Africa. They have a bunch of books for 5-6$ and if you buy 3 you get one free. So, I will review them when they arrive and let you know which ones we love!

I would also like to reach out to bloggy-world and see if you have any suggesstions on Rwanda books or adoption books.

Ones I've read:
Land of 1000 hills by Rosamond Carr - A biography of a woman who moves to Rwanda in the 1940's and her life there in peaceful times. When the genocide hits in 1994 this 80 yr old amazing woman evacuates to the US but decides she can't leave the land she loves. In a passage that gave me goose bumps she describes hopping on a soviet era plane as an elderly woman and returning to the most dangerous country in the world to help orphans she loves. Very interesting read/ easy read. 5 stars!

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America (Hardcover)
~ Adam Pertman Kind of all over the place and hard to follow at times, but I got if for a few bucks on ebay used. It had some interesting points on trends in adoption and how adoptions have changed dramatically over the years. 2 stars

Chicken soup for the adopted soul- if you like chicken soup stories you'll love this. Not great literature but nice pick-you-up reads 4 stars

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew By Sherrie Eldridge
Very insightful on some topics, but totally seems whackie on others. I'm not sure she has scientific studies to back up her conclusions and seems like she fights a lot of her own demons. Nevertheless, since I am new to adoption I am glad I am aware of some of these issues, but I hope she's off base since she makes it seem like every adopted person will be severely off base at the core of their being but will only be happy when the supress some things. At least that's what I took away from it. You may get a totally different impression. I do still recommend reading it with a grain of salt. 3 stars

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be killled with our families… (Paperback)
by Philip Gourevitch Interesting first hand accounts of Rwanda Genocide and especially interesting Politics that led up to genocide and especially how the world community reacted (not in a good way!) I had to skim it sometimes because it got a little to dry but the post-genocide reponse I found most interesting. I also skim violent passages because I find them too upsetting, but it doesn't have too many and they also play into larger stories in the book (not just random violence scenes) Four Stars

Ishmael Beah’s memoir, “A Long Way Gone,” Boy-Soldier in sierra Leonne. Riveting, disturbing, eye opening. HIGHLY recommended.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/25/books/review/Boyd.t.html This is a NY times review- much better than mine!

So that's my list for now- Any other Suggestions?? PLease add them in the comments!

Praying tomorrow is the big day!

Support Adoption Blogging!

2009-11-04T05:03:00.001-08:00

The news in the blog world is that Veronique (who processes the final referral email) is "upcountry" for today but is doing everything possible to get the referrals out by friday. The court shut down in December is scary. I am hoping and praying that she really does help us out.

I also want to add what a WONDERFUL support network we have via blogs. We are on two informal group email lists- one by Mugisha Ministries who helps people adopt independantly from Rwanda, (our friend Tina) and another or 9 families who linked up over blogs and we are all awaiting our referrals.

I would strongly suggest if you are adopting from any country you find other families in the same position as you on the blogs and contact them, and send a group email out once a week or so with updates, prayer requests, love and support for each other. It's a fantastic way to help each other and lift each other up during the hard wait.

One concern I have is I have heard that several families have agencies that have not allowed them to have a public blog. I feel this is a TERRIBLE and UNETHICAL restriction placed on a family and on the adoption world. I certainly understand not posting information on children to protect them but posting over paperwork and trials of paperchase should be a basic (American!) freedom0- freedom of speech, freedom of press! . If you agency doesn't want you to have a blog you need to ask why. My feeling is they don't want the realities of adoption publicized (the frusteration, the waits, the hold ups etc) But these things are part of adoption for better or for worse and only by sharing the expereinces can we collectively life each other up and give support. Up until you get your referral there is no danger to any child by posting this process. If there was, I wouldn't be posting. I think the agencies don't want the world to know about their imperfections, customer service (or lack of) etc. For the money people pay agencies they should publish the blog FOR you!! LOL. If you have a good agency with nothing to hide they will welcome blogging as a support network and ways to meet other families.
I SUPPORT ADOPTION BLOGGING!

Just a thought while I wait (with my bloggy friends) on the Lord for our baby...

rwanda update

2009-11-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

look like all the info is in but they have not had time to send it- this is the letter i got from our POA.

Today I went to the ministry to check with Velonique. She said she has already received the info. for the children, she was not able to send them due to many other responsibilities she has. I shared with her how the parents eagerly want to see the faces of their children,, she promised to have them sent ASAP this week. So there is more time to wait and pray. I asked her to give them to me so I just scan them and send them to you but this is not possible.. so... . I even told her that the court will be closed by December , that if possible the parents would come this Months ,...

I also went to the orphanage to ask if there is posibilities of staying with the child before the court. The nuns said it is not possible but that I needed to ask at the ministry.
Going back to the ministry, they said that is not possible to stay with the child in the hotel till the final letter ( To who it may concern letter).
You can however go visit, spend a day with your child but not taking him or her to saty in hotel.

Jen, The court date always depends on the number of the cases the court has to work on. But the maxmmum would be four weeeks.

fasting for fast action!!

2009-11-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

We are approaching a deadline of sorts- if we do not receive our referral SOON, we will hit December when the Rwanda courts will be shut down, and thus pushing our "gotcha day" off until january. The thoguht of the baby in an orphanage an extra month (and over Christmas no lesS) is very difficult. So our prayer email teams (we have 2 awesome groups- our "independent" adoption circle and also our "families awaiting referral" cicle. We are going to join together tomorrow for fasting and prayer to God that our referrals arrive soon and we can get those precious babies before the court clamp down and they are "stuck" for another month in the orphange. Please join with us to bring our babies home!

Think Cubic

2009-10-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

So another week has come and gone, but this week and last week were especially hard because we know our baby has been chosen and is waiting at this point to paperwork to be done before we can move to the next step. So days tick by and I think of that sad song from the disney move an american tale -- somewhere, out there, love will see us though... and I continue to shop for baby items at a furious pace with a crazed look in my eye, then stuff them into a 12x12x5" flat rate postal box to mail to Rwanda. As Ikea says, think Cubic- and so every last atom of space is taken up with my latest baby item nesting spree--
here's what fit in the modest sized box,(which is currently glowing, pulsing, and occasionally singing electronic lulabies as some gadget inside goes off spontaneously under the extreme pressure within the box:)
1.baby's first Bible
2. Fisher price crib soother with jungle animals and 20 continuous mins of music
3. "gentle Giraffe" large stuffed giraffe with 4 song settings including heartbead and samba drums (and money from the sale goes to help giraffes, an added bonus!)
4. froggy taggies blanket
5. super soft and warm white baby blanket (wish they made this in my size its so soft)
6. baby photo album with family pictures
7. musical keys with family photos inside
8. hanging infantino pengiun with pull-and-play music box (and yup, a family photo slot)
9. toy telephone
10. toy crab
11. 2 onesies 18-24 mo size
12. 2 pairs of socks
13 recieving blankt
14. desitin full size tube
15. travel baby powder
16 sample packs of diaper rash cream
17 sample pack of lotion
18 2 bottles of infant tylenol
19 infant liquid multivitamins
20 thanksgiving bib
21 winnie the pooh chewable crinkle book
22. old mcdonald finger puppet glove with book attached
23 pair of wrist rattles
24. thank you note to Peter our power-of-attorney

Yes, contents under pressure. it was an intricate masterpiece of stuffing, molding,shaping, squashing, taping and praying. I then coated the entire box in about 6 layers of packing tape, crossed my fingers and said a prayer it arrived intact to our POA peter. I'm going to mail it even though we don't have our referral yet so the second we do peter can take the baby its entire "Shower-in-a-box"
I can't wait to see who our baby is!!!!

Update from Rwanda

2009-10-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

So we heard from our Poa that the minister has not yet looked at and reviewed any kids files yet. That is a bummer. So basically wait for now ...we are getting good at that, unfortunatly.

One Year Waiting

2009-10-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

This past saturday marked the 1 yr anniversary of when we met Tina of Mugisha ministries who help us begin our journey of independent adoption from Rwanda. I can't beleive a whole year has gone by and I think of all the personal changes and growth we have made as a family over the past year. Bill and I have had many serious conversations about the steps we are about to take, the challenges we are going to face, the burdens we will carry, and the blessings that will come from this choice- and every time we still both smile and know in our hearts this is what *we* want to do, and this is what we feel God wants us to do, more importantly. Who wouldn't want the blessing of a child? There is no greater Gift to us than a baby.
Like the Nike slogan- Just Do it.
I'll end with this verse from Isaiah 54
"Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

This is the Bible's version of "you need an addition to hold all our children..." That would be awesome.

Waiting and Waiting (and shopping...) in the 11th hour

2009-10-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

SO, this week we HOPE is the week we get our referral- the email that will change our life and a child's life forever. The vital stats on a young life who has already experienced great loss, but is about to experience great love as God "takes the lonely and puts them in families". Is it a boy or a girl? how young or old? why is he/she in need of a family to love him/her? God has known this child before he or she was born and has amazing plans for him / her and us as well. We are humbled by this awesome gift and responsibility.
To make the wait a little more fun, I hit TJ maxx and target and bought a whole armload of baby toys, blankets, clothes... you name it, I grabbed it. I also started going through emilia's old toys and clothes and have gathered 2 full suitcases of *stuff* so far to bring along. Looking at bins and bins of leftover clothes and toys in the basement makes my a little ashamed of all we have while others have so little. Im happy for it to be getting "new homes"!
We got brother/sister a little thanksgiving bib that says "i'm thankful for my family" since we're hopeing to be getting him/her thanksgiving time or early december. We also got a photo album for babies to chew on that holds 8 family photos which we filled with his/ her new mommy, daddy, sister, cousins, and grandparents.
Also a clever little set of keys which you can put a small picture in each key-- mommy, daddy, and big sister! And of course, a first bible just like I got our daughter when I first found out I was pregnant- The inscription is very much the same- Even though we have not met you yet, God knows you and loves you. We can't wait to meet you. Love, Mommy Daddy and Emilia.

OUR BABY HAS BEEN CHOSEN!!

2009-10-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

We have a baby chosen for our family!! We don't know who, but next week we will finally find out who he/she is! All the medical tests have been done, and the nuns have to forward the baby's info to the Gov't before we get "official" word.
We are so happy! We will keep everyone posted.
We are now the Cropf Family of FOUR!!
Thank God for this great news. I had the strongest feeling this morning when I opened my email our referral would be here. And thoughts of the baby all weekend!

here is the letter from the power of attorney Peter:
Hi Jen,

Today I was able to meet with the nun at the orphanage..
Talking with her this morning, she said that she has already done the medical tests and for the identified children for about 12 families including yours. She has not yet submitted the results and all the information required to the ministry, she was to take them today but Velonique is not in the office. She has made an appointment with Velonique on this coming Friday, it is when she will submitt all she has for the kids according to the martching files. So..let's wait patiently to hearing from Velonique later this week or early next week.
Thanks
Peter

An Age of excess...

2009-10-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

No news on our baby yet, but tongiht was a strange mix of emotion for us. We were lucky enough to go the Children Hospital's biannual Carousel Ball, their major fundraiser for different children's health issues. Well, this year one of its main fundraising projects is childhood obesity. I was looking around a room of the richest people in Philadelphia, dripping in diamonds and slathered in furs, realizing they are donating millions of dollars to help "fat kids" while I have a little son or daughter in an orphange half way around the world who is drinking watered down baby formula made with contaminated water and children are dying of starvation. Not that childhood obesity need not be addressed, (and not to be insensitive to the struggles of overweight kids) but it just seems soooooo strange to be fundraising to prevent obesity in the privledged few while starvation is a reality for the vast majority. I felt my face burning with indignation while I thought of the baby whose face I will be seeing in a few short weeks for the first time. BIll and I exchanged looks and sighed at the irony of the whole situation.

In other news, I found two awesome adoption videos- I hope to add one of our own soon!

Eye of a hurricaine

2009-10-02T21:13:00.001-07:00

When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, every passing day felt like we were drawing closer and closer into the eye of a hurricaine. A calm before a storm. Not just any storm, but a life changeing, life consuming, life-will-never-be-the-same-storm. Well, as the final 4 weeks tick by until our referral of our son or daughter, I feel as thoguh I am again the the eye of the hurricaine. But this time, I read about things like reactive attachment disorder, failure to bond, and "terminated adoptions" and I am sort of freaking out. It's just a harmless little baby, right? (Ha!) But, I do need to be prepared for the worst case scenario so I can be the best possible parent. I don't want to just hope "this won't happen to us" because it can. It's a risk you take adopting an institutionalized child. Just like you take a risk with a biological child, for genetic diseases, dangerous births, mental disorders, on and on. But I know I owe it to my son or daughter to give them this chance, and to give us this chanch, at becomming a family. I'm sure with any little problem that arises we will get "I told you so's" from our often less-than-supportive extended support network, but this is a limb we mentally have to prepare to go out on. I hope for the efforts our family with be stronger, our love extended, and the world a better place for one child and one family waiting to adopt that child. Taking the road less traveled has always been the one I prefer.

But, non-the-less, prayers and support are appreciated as we sit in the eye of a hurricaine. I can only trust in God, know He is the one who is sending us on this path and He won't give us more than we can handle.

In other news, I added a great song by Brook Frasier called Albertine. Every time I listen to it I get re-energized for our adoption, and I feel like i'm needing some energy these days. Not just because I have lyme disease either, but that doesn't help matters!
here is Brooke Frasier's video for Albertine (the name of a girl she met while in Rwanda)

Blog Stalking made easy...

2009-09-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well I'm having a hard time keeping track of blogs now, so I decided to try and find everyone I "know" (ie, stalk daily progress of ) who HAS APPROVAL and are Awaiting that incredible email when we will see our son or daughter's face for the first time (referral) . So here are the ones I know about-- If you are also awaiting your referral and I left you out, please let me know so I can start obsessively checking your blog several times a day!!

1. http://africainourhearts.blogspot.com/
2. http://bowersjourneyto.blogspot.com/2009/08/approval.html
3. http://hunterandadrianne.blogspot.com/2009/09/nuns-choosing-our-child.html
4. http://thefurryrainbow.blogspot.com/2009/08/approval.html The Furr Family
5. http://racksadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/2009/08/conference-call.html The Smiths
6. http://sporesixgoingonseven.blogspot.com/2009/08/approval-and-first-day-of-school.html The Spore Family

7. http://dorbandsonajourney.blogspot.com/2009/09/no-news-yet.html The Dorband's
8. US!
I would add the the dorband's and us are going it solo- without an agency. We need extra prayers please!
So enjoy my consolidated list for your blog stalking pleasure!

Buy Dis for bruder-sister

2009-09-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well, no news on our referral. I emailed our POA (power-of-attorney) Peter 3 days ago but haven't heard anything yet. What I have found is that our daughter has "discovered" a new way to get what she wants at a store. She looks up at me with big eyes and says "Mommy, buy dis for bruder-sister from Wanda (rwanda.) Of course I can't say no to that! I think she is certainly aware that a baby will be "coming to live at our house" some time in the future. While Bill and I do complete flips daily on whether or not to bring her along on this tremendous journey, at least we know either way she is aware of what is going on. We would love to hear from anyone who has brought small children to this part of the world to help weigh in on this weighty decision, or better yet, if we have any volunteers to go with us to help out that would be an ideal way for us to travel!
We'll keep the blog world posted on progress!

No News Yet, but Thank God for Blogs!

2009-09-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

No news yet, but we are so grateful to blogging families, which have been warning us of paperwork pitfalls as they pick up their babies in Rwanda. We are not using an agency, as are several other families in our "adoption circle" so any help from other families is greatly appreciated. I simply do not think we would be adopting if it were not for blogs and the internet. We also found a simple way to donate to our adoption effort if you feel as though you would like to do so. Any help is greatly appreciated to bring our baby home! If you want to donate money to the orphange for us to bring supplies with us, just designate it for the orphange and we will use it for that! Any help is greatly appreciated! Jen&BIll

Holding God's hand

2009-09-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

I have a cute story about my little girl, who is 25 months old, and her thoughts on the adoption. The other night we were falling asleep in the bed (we were on a mini vacation so she was sharing the bed with us) and I was talking to her about the adoption of her brother or sister. As I held her little hand, I said "see how mommy holds your hand when you fall asleep? Your little brother - sister (as we call him/her ) doesn't have anyone to hold his hand so we are going to go and bring him to our house. She was quiet for a minute and then said "Brother sister hold God's hand, mommmy." This was out of the blue, and I could feel tears in my eyes and said "you're right sweetie, brother-sister holds God's hand." This sentimental moment was quickly changed to a laugh when I asked her what she wants to name him/her and she was quiet for awhile, then after some thought whispered "Froggy Froggy Ribbit Ribbit". That made my night :)

No adoption news, but we're so exicted, stalking blogs like crazy for the 3 families in Rwanda now and emailing with others whose dossiers sit on Veronique's desk...

Another thought for today

2009-09-09T22:08:00.000-07:00

An old man was sitting outside a city’s gates. A traveler stopped and asked the old man what kind of people lived in the city. He replied, “What were the people like in the city you just left?” The traveler responded that they were horrible, mean, and cheats. The old man replied, “So Shall you find the people here.” The traveler kept going past the city. A second traveler asked the old man, “What kind of people live here?” The old man replied again with a question. “What were the people like in the city you just left?” The traveler said, “They were wonderful, kind, and generous.” The old man said, “And so shall you find them here.”

midnight musings

2009-09-09T21:16:00.001-07:00

I am still up at mindnight with a slight case of insomnia, and in the process I found about 3 new blogs tonight of families adopting from Rwanda. Two fascinating common themes I have found with almost every family adopting from Rwanda- 1. We all love Jesus and proclaim that God has called us on this journey, and 2. We almost all have biological children already. Why is this significant? Well, for one the face of adoption is radically changing as years pass. It has gone from a secret, almost shameful process to a glorious union of parents and children placed together for all the world to see. Secondly, there remains a sort of feeling (rather misconception) that adoption is a "plan B" for infertile couples. I think God wants this to change. Adoption is powerful, glorious, and should be celebrated. The fact that almost every family adopting from Rwanda that I have come across has been blessed with biological children already SCREAMS that adoption is not a plan B. This is PLAN A. This is people seeing a need in our world and picking up our Cross to follow the Lord's directive that we care for the poor, the homeless, the needy, the lonely, the widow and the orphan. Our actions will speak louder than words ever can. God is sending us, and I see a river of American families from every corner of the county is answering a call. In return we are receiving the most incredible blessing ever given to a human in this life and on this Earth- a son or daughter. Several familes have 3,4 or even 5 biological children already. No one will look at these families and think adoption was just an answer to infertility ;) We are all going to be powerful proponents of adoption - very visible, very obvious, and living testimony that every child is created equal and every child is OUR responsiblity. PLEASE don't think I am saying anything disparaging about infertile couple who adopt-- on the contrary, they have been doing all along what the rest of us SHOULD be doing. God has a reason for everything including infertility. When a couple finds they are infertile and welcomes a baby home though adoption they are carrying out one of the most beautiful directives in the Bible, to care for the orphan & become a family. But I wish it was not just infertile couples who adopt. (This is the point of my tirade...) Imagine if every one who is able to do so adopted an orphan... an incredible thought which would solve the world's orphan crisis. Having your "own" children is no excuse for not caring for the orphan with all your heart. Kind words do not solve poverty, warm wishes do not fill stomachs, and happy thoughts do not stop children from dying of diarrhea.

Now that you have seen, YOU are responsible.

For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed more clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison, and you said I was getting what I deserved. (RESV - Richard E. Stearns Version)

I would add,
I could not afford a doctor, and you said I don't work hard enough. I could not feed my children, and you said I was lazy. I was homeless, and you assumed I would spend the money on cigarettes, so you did not give. You stepped over me while I slept on the steam vent. The school my child attends is dangerous and your solution is to move away. The house I live in is falling apart, but you just added an addition. I cannot afford a car to drive to work, but you have three.

What Would Jesus Do, Folks? What would He say to every problem facing society today? That is a powerful question.

How do YOU propose to solve the World's orphan crisis? What would YOU do? Do you need to do anything at all? Does it matter? Is it your responsibility, or someone else's? Who is "someone else"?

Who will help the person on the sidewalk? Why did I see a man with a urine bag tied to his pants begging for money outside the aquarium as I entered with my daughter, in the RICHEST COUNRTY IN THE WORLD. AND WHY DIDN'T ANYONE GIVE HIM MONEY BUT ME? BE ASHAMED. I was ashamed for America, and I was ashamed of America. There is no excuse. Only if every person was moved to love thy neighbor as thyself...

Action in rwanda

2009-09-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

Three families from Rwanda have their children today.
Here is a link
http://limmerfamilyadventure.blogspot.com/2009/09/our-official-never-have-to-stay-at.html

It's so wonderful to be able to follow their stories too, as they add to their families in this fabulous way. We are getting so excited, and I can barely wrap my mind around the fact this will be us, God willing, in a few short weeks or months.

Not twins but progress...

2009-09-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Well it's not twins--our Poa Peter confirmed it was a typo. I am ad
itedly a bit disappointed but bill is visably releaved. I agree it would be a huge change and probably very hard on our little daughter. But in ex iting other news we heard our dossier has already gone to the orphangd!!! Yeah !! Praise God to be at this point. I'm getting REALLY excited!!!

Vaccines and travel companions

2009-09-03T20:03:00.001-07:00

Well, we went to the Penn travel medicine center today and had a wonderful conversation with the RN and got all the vaccines we need. I needed yellow fever, typhoid, and my second HEP A. Bill needed yellow fever, typhoid, HEP B, HEP A, and polio booster. other considerations were mmr, rabies (i have that one) and tetanus (we both have that) Lots of needles sticks, but hopefully for a healthy trip!! We also stocked up on all manner of mosquito repellants and learned a lot about the liitle monsters. I will be wearing a permethin soaked bee-keeprs outfit my entire time in Africa. The baby will look like a permethin soaked mummy when i'm done...
(or should i say...babies??!!)

TWINS??!!

2009-09-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

WEll, I got a copy of our adoption letter from Peter, and I read it closely and it says we're approved for TWO kids!!
Do we want TWO? Do we NOT want two? can we handle TWO? is it just a clerical error? Can we change our US immigration paperwork for TWO?
YIKES! Nevertheless, if this is God's plan, I can't say I would want to turn my back on a child! we will keep everyone posted!

APPROVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-31T12:54:00.000-07:00

WOW, What a shock as I slunk into work this morning, tired, sick,. and opened my email to find a congratualtion letter from Tina, the wonderful woman (and momma to a rwandan son) who is helping us and several other families with independant adoption through her new Mugisha Ministries. I thought she was confused and was writing to the Dorbands, another independant familiy who just got approval!! I stated to freak out when I saw another email from our POA peter, asking me if i got the approval letter from them ministry-- WHAT?!! So soon!!! PRaise God!
Of course i started crying and got hugs and high fives from all my coworkers who feel like part of my family too. My finger trembled and I was a total mess and all i could think was CALL BILL! I didn't get him at first and had a hard time completing my sentences! I got through to him and forwarded him the emails finally and he's so happy to hear the news too! My coworker Lisa got us little bottles of wine to celebrate and brought them back over her lunch break. My dad was also very excited and was actually giving some thought to going along to pick up his new grandson/daughter!!! I have to smile as I think how Great is God.
we will keep everyone posted!

You need to read this

2009-08-28T22:19:00.000-07:00

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

If you want to read an awesome testimony of what God can do with one person, read this. Imagine if everyone one of us reading this blog was like Katie, or rather like Jesus working through Katie. Be prepared to cry from shame, happiness, sorrow, and joy.

In adoption news, no news. But from blog buzz, approval letters are flying out from Veronique's desk left and right. Let's hope they keep flying! from what I can tell, there are maybe 4-5 families in "front" of us?

Watch and Pray.

Bigger family, bigger car, big suprise on my negotiating skills.

2009-08-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well, if we're having another baby we're probably going to need more room to haul him/her. With our 2 yr old, 2 dogs, stroller, diapers, formula, stuff, trash, etc. our subaru feels crowded. Bill's camry made the decision for us when after 150,000 it seems to be croaking. So late last night we went to the toyota dealer, found a lovely hybrid highlander with low miles, and THOUGHT we negotiated a good bid. We sighned papers, and got home at 1 am last night. Imagine my suprise when i went on ebay motors this am and found the EXACT car, (same dealer, same VIN#) for about 3,000 less than we negotiated last night!!! I'm going to have to go in today and renegotiate. I think God was like, good job my child, hope you had fun negotiating, but you suck. Here is a little ammo to get a REAL deal. BAM. God is a powerful ally. Car dealers beware. His timing doesn't alaways make sense however.
Just like with the adoption. No News, but we have (hopefully) a snazzy new hybrid to haul you in, our little son or daughter!

Veronique is back...

2009-07-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

just heard from our POA peter that Veronique has been gone for 3 weeks and is now back in town. maybe that's why no news?
Keep waiting and praying!

Dreaming under the stars... Month One

2009-07-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

Well, one month is now past as of tomorrow since our Dossier arrived in Kigali.
Last night my husband and I had a "SUPRISE" date night. Suprise, Because I forgot I asked the sitter to come, and when he showed up I was asleep and Bill was confused:) I stumbled up from my nap, mumbled some instructions, said "Suprise honey! Date night!" and trippped over my own shoes as we flew out to the car.

We had a wonderful night seeing Ladysmith Black Mombazo and the Blind Boys of Alabama (awesome gospel trio from you guessed it, alabama) at the Mann music center- an outside concert venue where we take a picnic blanket, lay on the grass, and soak in the most incredible skyline views of Philly while listening to the music.

Ladysmith is an acapello, all male group from South Africa. they are pure enchantment. As I laid on the grass, i wished our baby from Rwanda was laying by us, listening to the music in the night. I hoped he could hear the music across the ocean in his dreams, where he lays in his crib in an orphanage. I tried to see his face in the clouds, and when the wind caught it just right, I think I may have caught a glimpse... All you moms out there longing for this adoption process to shift to warp speed know the ache I felt. But there was a peace knowing, at least for our son or daughter, there is a family across the ocean who loves him and God has put a powerful tidal wave in motion to bring us together.

What does your Dossier LOOK like?

2009-07-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

Well, this is a post to all of you in the adoption process or who have completed your blessed event. What does your Dossier LOOOk like? It feels like a person to me now, after how many steps and how much a arrranged and rearraged. while a never took an acutual picture of it, i kept a copy for us. It was in a black 3 ring binder, and we made a cover / title page you slip in the cover that said "Jones Cropf Adoption Application" and had orange earths in a light ink as a background. It was a very business-like template i did online through the binder company. Every document was put in a plastic sleeve and labeled in the edge with a sharpie what was contained in that particular sleeve. It's the most important, and expensive, document I've ever made.

So, what did YOUR dossier look like?

Minister reviewed and off to VERONIQUE... the mysterique

2009-07-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

Well, We heard monday July 6 that the minister has reviewed our paperwork, and passed it along to the mysyerious Veronique (I just say that because i hear so much about her i think i should know her, but alas, not at all. thus the mystery...)
Our POA Peter is VERY on the ball and emails us with every update.
So, at least some progress is being made. I also asked my friend at ROCA aid Robinson Gasangawa for help, if he has any pull, to put a good word in for us. it never hurts I guess!
Good Lord willing, I'll be a momma of 2 by Christmas. That's my goal :)

IN THE MINISTRY'S HANDS

2009-06-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

AS OF MONDAY OUR POA PETER DELIVERD OUR DOCUMENTS TO THE MINISTRY- NOW THE WAIT BEGINS!
YIPPEE!

Bujumbura BI II

2009-06-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

Bujumbura BI II. Just like it sounds. dossier still in Bujumbura BI. For the second day. The wait is driving me batty!
I hope it's ok!

BUJUMBURA BI

2009-06-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

BUJUMBURA BI: That is where our dossier is at the moment. For those of you wondering where that is, which included me up until i googled it 5 mins ago, that would be the capital of Brundi, nestled on the west coast of Africa. Ah, to have a little dossier-cam microphone sending me back the sounds of people in the market, cattle on the roads, music in the night- that's how I picture the far off coast of Africa, based on my wikipedia short-course.
Our Dossier is on a Grand Adventure! I hope it's having fun, staying dry & intact, hiding from prying eyes of crooked Fedex guys, and thinking of sending us a post card for all the trouble its put us through to get it to the distant shores of BUJUMBURA BI. I also hope it's booking it's little binder-butt to Kigali, where it's suposed to be NOW. God Speed, little Dossier! Sigh...
God's Timing, my friends. Not mine. Or FedEx's.

Bon Voyage!

2009-06-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the final missing documents arrived from the Assistant Stork Courier in DC on Friday, and after I got off work today we went as a family to the FED EX store to bid our dossier BON VOYAGE. I took a picture of emilia with it before we sent it off. It feels like a living thing by now so we wish it safe journey. Keep your fingers crossed and us in your prayers as it makes its way to Africa...
now the REAL wait begins!

Paperwork Tango

2009-05-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

WEll, I haven't posted much lately but we've been in a paperwork tango, trying to get our last 5 docuemnts authenticated (2 birth certs, 2 dr letters, and guardianship form). I took everything to harrisburg (notarized copies) only to find out its "illegal" to photocopy birthcertificates. Nevermind that the PA notary notaried our photocopies of birth certificates, charged us and never mentioned that little fact. Now, to make it crazier, they DID authenticate MY californai birth cert copy since that did not say "illegal to photocopy" on it. But Bill's PA cert did say that, so they rejected it. I have to go get an official state copy, they have THAT notarized, AND authenticated, even though it's an official state document.

The paperwork in this process is A JOKE, AN ABSURDITY, A PRACTICE IN IDIOCRACY.Mind you no where, by no one, are our documents certified to be authentic. Just that's it's our signature. I could have photocopied all fake stuff and everyone would have happily authenticated it as long as a notary somewhere will stamp it.
And take my money along the way. BOGUS.

Sorry to vent. Thanks.

2009-05-18T00:49:00.001-07:00

We'll see if embedding this works. I have shamelessly lifted it from another adoption blog because I thought it was so cool -- enjoy!

It's Been mailed already, or will be mailed.

2009-05-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

"It's already been mailed, or will be mailed" This is the reply i got from the embassy when I called a second time Monday may 4th to see where the dossier was, after almost 3 weeks had passed. I had also called monday april 27th and was told it was finished, but the US postal service would not pick up the box we had already put postage on and self addressed. So, they were waiting for an embassy employee (probably our friend Jenny) to walk it to the post offfice. This was about a 2 week wait, but our Dossier did arrive May 9, complete. Or so we thought. We found out through the Rwanda-blog-friend-Grapevine that now Medical tests cant be more than 3 months old (ours were done in Dec. 08) and we need a guardianship form for godparents, and also we need birthcertificates. You got it- notarized, stamped in harrisburg, authenticated by the State dept, and finally stamped by the embassy. The paper chase will need to be run again. This is like finding out you've been in labor for 10 hours but your cervix just got smaller. Pitocin, Anyone?

We need Paperwork Pitocin. Haha. Haha. Waaaaaaa.....

non-update

2009-04-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

I stole that title from another blog but i tohught it was funny ;) No news, but my friend Tina told me the Rwanda embassy told HER it should be no more than 5 business days to get the approval letter, and well, it's now been 10 or 11, depending if you include good firday. :( I tried to call the embassy twice on friday but both times it said enter a mailbx number, and had no voice mail or no answer. odd. anyhoo, that's the non-update. and wait. I just found out my friend jenny is expecting! she's due in December, and since our little girls are only a few weeks apart, she thinks are new baby may come in December too!! the way things are going, it looks like that may not be far off- but what an awesome present!!

2009-04-12T17:24:00.000-07:00

2009-04-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

The Rwanda Embassy - it was a clear beautiful spring day! I caught the flag mid-furl

2009-04-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

Wasington Dc!!!

2009-04-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

First of All, HAPPY EASTER! Let's thank Jesus for his gift to all of us, and for leading us on this wonderful journey. Secondly, thank Him for getting us to DC and the State Dept- where we almost were turned down since we had more than the 15 documents allowed in one day, but we told the nice woman at the counter that we drove from philly and it's for an adoption, and I think God changed her mind for us and she let us do all of them at once. Then off to the Embassy, but they told us we needed a cashier check and we also forgot our pre-paid return box so we drove on a wild goose chase for those 2 things, then back to the embassy! We dropped off everything and walked away with a smile, Paper Labor is in full swing! The final step now is get dossier returned with letter of no objection, and Mail it to Rwanda!!

Getting closer by the minute...

2009-04-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well, we are getting closer despite the sudden twist of needing to get all of our papers stamped at the state level in harrisburg, and then DC, we now have the harrisburg approval- sort of. i missed a few documents and have overnighted them to our family who, conveniently, live in harrisburg :) so hopefully we'll have themby wednesday then - We're going to DC! We have always wanted to see cherry blossoms so this will be perfect timing, God's timing is always perfect of course ! Another family adopting frmo Rwanda got their approval letter the *SAME DAY* but we're not counting on being so lucky...but we can hope and pray!
i''ve been getting nesting instincts a little more, thinking of how i'll orchestrate 2 babies at lunch, where to fit 2 babies in our bedroom (yes, we are crazy overindulgent parents with our toddler happily sleeping in her toddler bed, just east of our bed, north of the dog bed, and south of the cats' bed...we currently have, on average, 6-9 living things peacefully snoring, snoozing, tossing, turning, talking in their sleep, barking in their sleep, purring, hissing, knocking down picure frames, burowing, sometimes sleeping, crying for bottles-still-, whining for binkys, wide-eyed with insomnia, dreaming, waking, or hitting the snooze button on any given night-- whew, but i digress) 2 car seats, a double stroller... but it's thrilling to be thinking in 2's now! twice as nice, probably 4 times the chaos, but 100 times welcome, welcome, welcome to our world, little one. we're gonna love it.

Paper progress!

2009-03-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

Just got an email from our adoption agency that we have US gov't approval for our adoption and the paper should arrive in the mail in a few days! Yippee! One day soon that mailbox won't be empty! Praise God, I was getting impatient!! I also talked to a client today who just adopted a baby from Ethiopia and she lives 5 mins. from us! I hope they can have playdates very soon!

Empty Mailbox, full hearts

2009-03-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

I feel anticipation every day when I open the mailbox, and while I've got a great coupon or two, a free pair of underware at victoria's secret, and my sping mail order chicken catalog, no magical approval letter to bring our son or daughter home. I had the notary come again last night to do our W2s and a few other extra copies of papers so I can hopefully drive them home next week to harrisburg for approval, then ship 'em to DC while we wait.
Tonight is a bummer since we sent our little girl to grandma and grandpa's for 2 nights since I have a conference to go to tomorrow, and I loathe the thought of any extra daycare days since she despises it so much. This is only the second time we've spent a night away from her. It's funny, peopel think it's good for a new mom to "have time to herself" or "get away" or "have a break" from the kids. Maybe this will be true someday, but even now the thought of being away from her is like saying "oh, you must need a break from your legs, you walk so much" or, boy, you're eyes are tired from working so hard, you should just go blind for a few days to give them a rest" I feel like a vital organ is missing. Sigh, I'd rather miss her than send her to day care. we're thinking about re-hiring a new babysitter, since she's done so well with them in the past.

Plus, we have to start grooming the new nanny for #2! Soon I pray!

wait and wait ...

2009-03-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

well, 2 of my friends have just delivered healthy babies, and two more are pregnant with their second. We tell people of our paper pregnancy, but it's a shame it doesn't get a bigger excitment level than if we told them I was pregnant again. I think adoption is still a little misunderstood. People seem happy for you but immediatly ask "why" and "where" and kinda think we're crazy. more like off the rocker, a screw loose, few cards short of a deck... no one asked "why" or "how" or thought we were crazy when we were pregnant with our perfect little girl. Still, we wait. Still, we follow God's call. I know when we hold this child in our arms we will know we're doing the right thing, making the right choice, and follwing the right trail, even if it is the one less traveled.

So, wait we will. Our friend Tina who adopted a son from Rwanda as been sending us updates on paperwork and we have contacted the embassy to make sure we're doing the right things with our paperwork, just waiting on a reply from them.

We are waiting 4 weeks on saturday for USCIS approval.

Presents for Elijah

2009-02-20T14:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I was at the mall today with my little gal and I had a gymboree coupon burning a hole in my pocket, (moms, you know what i mean) and alas, nothing for Emila there. BUT i did come across and adorable pair of bluejean overalls with a turtle in the pocket and matching turtle onesie. I had to think of Elijah. But how big will he be? what season will he finally arrive home? I figured 18-24 months (so he can grow into it) and at least overalls can be summer or winter, if you use them with or without the onesie. (That is the name I am calling my "unborn" (or perhaps born?) son to be. Who may turn out to be a daughter but you never know God's plan. Bill has no such neurosis yet. He is always the logical one. It gets worse, I even now admit I bought him a picture frame at Christmas. I saw it on ebay, and it was made from recycled materials by a Christian artist. The name was ELIJAH just sticking out at me. It practically jumped off the page and I shoveld out too much money and bought an Elijah frame. If Elijah turns out to be a girl, so be it. But if it's a boy, Mommy's getting ready! It may seem funny to spend money on something that may never come to be, for so many reasons, but it makes me feel connected. Otherwise all I have is a string of money orders, notarized forms, signatures, and family member apathy. I need something tangible. So Elijah, you have a name, a picture frame, and a pair of adorable turtle overalls. Now all we need is you!
I felt the same way when I saw my daughter's ultrasound picture. All that vomiting was making sense, finally. Something tangible in an otherwise intangible, mind boggeling process.

I also got some encouragment from a friend at Widow's of Hope in Rwanda where we sponsor a school child. My friend Robinson told me he knows several people at the Ministry and will do anything he can to help us out. Praise God! I will also be so excited to finally meet him and Dorothy, our sponsored school child.

updates and waits

2009-02-19T22:49:00.000-08:00

Well, still waiting. But it's only really been 15 days, and only 5 days since USCIS was mailed our homestudy. A watched pot never boils, so I'll not dwell on that. I did update our adoption paperwork time line with financial time line as well. We are still expecting to pay a liason in Rwanda $500, plane tickets and travel (I shudder to think...$) and now I think we may have to get all documents approved at state level which may be another 500-700$ and also at the embassy which will be another several hundred dollars. Our friend Tina is helping us figuure out if we REALLY need state approval. Pray NO because it takes $ and more importantly precious time.
In other news, Emilia and I had a fun day today, with her watching me get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. she freaked out seeing the "la-la" (or lady, =dental hygenist) approach mommy with a mask and spinnign whirring dental instruemtns, but luckily she was so tired she promptly forgot the trauma and drifted peacefully off to sleep the whole time. I was going to drop her at daycare, but I'm really glad I didn't. even mundane moments with her are fun. While we were waiting in the waiting room of the dentist office she loved tolook at a picture of a baby alligator hatching from and egg and read the magazines with me. It seems insignificant, but every min. w/ her is awesome. even if it involes me having to get my teeth cleaned. any lying that I floss everyday. Acutally, I didn't even bother to lie about it, I knew the hygenist knew the truth. Some days, i'm just lucky if both shoes match. so sue me if dental floss is used more often in more arts& crafts projects than oral hygene in our home.
I can't wait to spend little precious moments with my son, wherever he may be. (or daughter. but I really think it's gonna be a boy, Elijah.)

making progress

2009-02-11T19:06:00.001-08:00

well, on Feb 7th at 8am we had our USCIS fingerprint appointment and on monday we got our completed homestudy report in the mail! So now, we need to send the homestudy report to USCIS, and... wait. But that's good, I feel like we're making progress, really! I'm gonna call the embassy of Rwanda in DC tomorrow and see if we can take the paperwork there in person ,and maybe make a cherry blossom/adoption paperwork short trip soon.
Sorry I've been off of updates, we've all been sick and tired and lazy-feeling. I have strange foot/mouth blisters that I must have caught from Emilia- she started her 1st week of daycare at the church last week and it didn't take long to spread the associated germs around. It also breaks my heaart to send her!!

moving along...

2009-01-30T18:27:00.000-08:00

Well, we got our fingerprint appointment for next saturday for USCIS and our premilinary home study report came today, awaiting still bill's dr report and 2 rec letters. But things are on the move.! Elijah, we're coming slowly but surely! In other news, we took emilia to the aqwuarium today to see her beloved hippo and our friend wendy and baby delaney. Then, dinner with daddy downtown at Parc, a really great french bistro. it's so darn cold though-- spring, hurry up!!

Then a miracle occurs

2009-01-22T19:40:00.000-08:00

my wordier earlier blog got deleated so here's the low down:
10 simple, easy to follow steps left till our family grows and God blesses us with a second "greatest gift!"

1. finish getting 2 final letters of recommendation
2. get bill's dr letter notarized after 3 failed attempts to get dr to fill form in first place!
3. get fingerprint appt w/ USCIS and approval of fingerprints. shouldn't be hard, since 2 other vast computer networks already have "approved" my fingerprints...
4.submit remaining documents to social worker for homestudy
5. get USCIS approval
6. send dossier to Rwanda embassy for notarization
7. send dossier to Rwanda
8. get approval from ministiry of gender and referral from orphanage
9. then a miracle happens!
10. Baby!

Home Study over, sort of...

2009-01-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm a little behind but we did have our homestudy on the 29th of December with Megan Rasmutten and it went very well, but she did say we have too many pets (is 3 cats and 2 dogs too many? :) But I think it's ok :) But we didn't have all of our documents together yet so we need to get her more things before she can write our reports. Bill's state fingerprint clearance arrived about a week ago, which was good. The homestudy was WAY less involved than I imagined. We cleaned frantically and installed missing cabinet locks (that we should have anyway!) before she came, but she really just wanted to meet us and see our motivations for adoption. I'm feeling sluggish in the paperwork again. I have to go get a money order for the I-600 and I've been waiting to do it for almost 2 weeks now. I also need to : Get my midwife to sign off on all my test results, get A letter from E's pediatrician saying she's healthy and receives regular exams/care/etc, write my autobiography, write a letter of intoroduction to the Rwanda minister, dig out two of my recent paychecks, get Bill to get 2 letters of reccomendation, pick up my notarized letter from my regular physician, bring bill's physician letter back to the doctors since she never signed it either, and also arrange the notary to come and notarize it, go get the money order for the 1-600, and i think...thats....it....for....now. You can see this is A LOT of paperwork. I get so overwhelmed instead of doing one or two I want to do them ALL, then that is too overwhelming so i do NONE. Sigh. I need some motivation!
In economic news, i'm sad to say I think we;re going to lay off our nanny and put E in day care to save some money and pay off bills. Yuck. now she's gonna get sick all the time. If you know any nice, cheap :) nannies in philly, let us know!!

Sponsor Joseph, Anyone?

2008-12-26T20:57:00.000-08:00

I got an email today from the child we sponsor in Rwanda at Widow's of Hope asking to help find a sponsor for her 15 yr old brother, Jospeh, who wants to go to civil engineering/ carpentry training. Looks like it's about $400 each term, 3 terms per year, for 3-4 more years. Anyone interested can email widows of hope.

On the paperwork front, my 1-600a was returned since my check did not have my address permanently printed on it. How STUPID is that!? They DO take personal checks, and instantly deduct them from your account, but not unless your address is there too- it wasn't enough for me to just write it on. Never mind it's coming from ME, with MY SS#, MY passport and MY birth cert copy, OUR marriage cert, AND my husbands Birth and Pass port copy. What more ID do you want?? No wonder nothing ever gets accomplished in government. Sigh. I don't even HAVE checks with our address on them. I either have to 1- order new checks, or 2- get a darn money order which of course, costs more money. SIGH.

We had a PERFECT christmas eve but hectic Christmas, with Christmas eve spent 1st at our church service, then driving our secret santa packages around downtown to deliver to homeless people we see laying on the streets (our third year in this awesome new tradition) With one package left to deliver, we found a live nativity at 10:30 pm at one of the historic churches in old city and all got out ot See Baby Jesus with the "an-mulls" as E-- says. We fed the goats, lambies, baby donkey and baby calf some bread, much to emilia's delight! We met a couple who had been coming for 25 years to feed the animals in the nativity (despite the sign saying not to, but I think they have grandfathered in rights to feed them:) It was a fun diversion from secret santa-ing and a beautiful sight.

We got back in the car and had not gone more than a few blocks when we heard the bells tolling at Christ Church, and saw they were having an 11:00 service. We decided to go! It was gorgeous, and so cool to be in Church a few pews over from where George Washington sat. When the congreation sang "Gloria in excelcius Deo" the organ stopped and the whole "Gloooo-ooo-rrrr-ii-aaaa" was sung a capella by all of us gathered to worship. It was magical. The music filled the whole church and you could feel a connection to 300 years of Philadelphians all worshiping in the same House of God. E-- was so good the whole time, especially since it was MIDNIGHT and she was still awake. She was 'talking' a little but she did say "amen" after prayers (sooo cute) and the pastor let her have her First communion. (I asked if she was too young but they said it was Ok, I'm sure she will do it again once she really understands what she is doing. ) She didn't eat the wafer but when we got back to our seats she did and asked for "Mo Mo" (for more). I told her, honey, you can have as much of Jesus as you want, but only 1 communion wafer!" She seemed ok with that answer :)

As the service let out at 12:30 am Christmas morning, we walked down the quite street to our car listening to the bells on a perfect Christmas eve. The morning would bring the usual rush and flurry of presents, but Christmas eve together was simply perfect. I wonder where our little one is across the ocean. I hope safe, sound, and maybe hearing the far-away bells of the Christ Church in his dreams. On the way home, we found a final homeless Brother and I left the last package while he lay sleeping. God be with our homeless brothers,sisters, and Children. I hope they know God watches over them too while they sleep.

Finally, I saw a shooting star on Christmas day, as Bill filled the gas tank when we were leaving to go back home after visiting everyone in Harrisburg.

bill get fingerprints

2008-12-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

again, baby steps- biil got fingerprinted for the state yesterday 12/22/08. slow and steady wins the race!

fingerprints

2008-12-19T17:45:00.000-08:00

not much to report but i got state fingerprints today, no wait and all of a 5 min process...bill has to do his asap.

Oprah's Interview with Lysa Terkeurst

2008-12-19T00:41:00.001-08:00

Here is a link to a video of Oprah's interview withe the families that adopted sons from Liberia. This is the story that changed my dad's heart and how God spoke to my dad. It's a powerful story in itself and testimony to God's work in average every day people's lives. Enjoy!

http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2007/07/oprah-show.html

Waiting and waiting

2008-12-14T19:16:00.000-08:00

After a lovely evening in front of the exciting "christmas Yule Log" on TV writing Christmas cards (have you seen the Yule log? endless action as the fire crackels, exciting drama as you wonder, is it going to repeat itself? and if so, will I know the difference?) we are going to bed. I announced the news of our Paper Pregnancy in all the cards tonight, and I couldn't help but wonder what the extended family's reaction will be. Many family members are Christians, so I hope they understand we feel God's plan is in action. But sometimes people's emotions overpower their Christ-centered heart as we have already discovered with our immediate family. So we pray the news is greeted with the same excitment and joy we are feeling. I did write one card with a heavy heart, to my Great aunt. Her sister was my Grandma Dot,who actually led a widow's ministry at our church for years and grew it to several hundred followers in her newsletter, Widow's indeed. She sponsored a widow in Uganda for years too. I wish I could tell her our adoption news. I think she would be so thrilled to know we are following God's call to action and that she would be having another grandchild. She was a powerful woman of God. I know she would be so happy for us.
Did I mention I looked online and found out that my CA Birth cert should be here TUESDAY?? Wow. Thank God, since I will need it for the homestudy Dec 28.

Slow as molasses but moving on.

2008-12-12T18:00:00.001-08:00

Well, after calling the homeland security number yesterdayand being bounced around more times than a rubber ball on a tramploine, I managed to get through to deportations office in philly. I told her, no- I was looking for importations. She laughed at that then managed to connecct me to another office, who connected me to ANOTHER person who was, SUPRISE, officer Copestick who handles all the 600a adoption forms. The MAN. And he was none to happy that a peon who hadn't even filed yet managed to get his direct line. After yelling at me my pathetic sniveling and groveling connected to his humanity and he answered my question, which was, can i send my passport or a passport copy instead of the birth certificate, to which the answer was "Yes" Well, yes to copy or yes to original? I was too scared to ask and press my good luck at getting through to a real human of authority so I took the YES and ran.

So, I sent a notorized passport copy off today with our marriage cet and bill's Birth cert and 830$ in cool hard personal check. Let's hope it works!

I also got ANOTHER physical today and blood draw for the HIV/HEPB/HEPC/SYPHYLIS/CBC/ scurvy, rickets, goiter, cooties, ebola, mad cow, and Rabies testing. (I actually did get the rabies antibody test, but that's an unrealted story:) That's all the blood work the home study lady failed to tell me i needed the FIRST time they almost made me pass out from my blood draw.

Finally, we did the online payment at "cogent" for PA fingerprinting. We will still need federal fingerprinting, and this is in addition to my NJ state fingerprints already on file in cyberspace somewhere for my professional license. Can't These burocrats CONSOLIDATE and COMMUNICATE? Egads!

So pray that the INS accepts my notorized passport in place of my MIA CA birth cert., and we can move forward once again.

Finally, one last note, my Cat husband Brown Mouse's breath has been restored to the freshness of a mountain spring after removing his stank tooth on wednesday. After a tense morning in the clinic, the techs all breathed a sigh of relief when he awoke from surgery healthy and happy and I allowed taking and laughing again. I can kiss him on the lips again. Mwahaha!

Arnold! You suck!

2008-12-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

Well, the governor of CA is on my yuck list, since i found out yesterday it can take 20 WEEKS to get my CA birth cert, which is basically going to hold up the entire process unless the homestudy lady and INS for the 600a form will accept my passport as proof of US citizenship. I re-applied for a BC via vitalcheck.com and "rushed" it, so we will see how fast that route is. I guess i will end up with 2 BC, but that's beter than zero. we'll have a spare for our second adoption... :)
pray ARNOLD stats my birth cert. Sigh.b

One more thing...

2008-12-06T21:43:00.000-08:00

I was just reading another Blog for the "smith family" who said they decided to adopt on Oct. 19th. That is almost the exact day we decided to adopt. I think God is hearing the cries of His children in Rwanda and going to raise up an army of families to come to their aid. I pray it happens soon! Pray Pray Pray!

christmas party

2008-12-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight was Bill's Christmas party at work and it was so exciting to share the news with all the wives of Bill's coworkers. Everyone I told was thrilled for us and I got re-energized again for "The Process" I am firmly beginning to think it will be a boy, and I want to name him Elijah. Bill dreamt Emilia's name so I hope I get to pick our new son's name :) The homestudy woman Megan emailed me yesterday and said she got the application. We're scheduling a homestudy for Dec. 28th ! Yeah!

Emilia had a great time w/ nanny and pap tongiht and reveled in her giant bin of beanie babies. It's with utter delight I watch her bounce around neck high in toys, but the back of my mind thinks of my son or daughter laying in an orphanage bed in Africa all alone, hungry, dirty, with no stimulation whatsoever and I get so upset. They keep playing that Christmas song about "there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas, the greatest gift they get is life" (I think it's "band-aid" circa 1980's) and this year hearing it sends a direct hit to my heart. That song is not about "kids" somewhere, but about MY CHILD. I feel a desperation that this paperwork takes so long. Where is my CA birth certificate??? Arnold!!???

So you, dear reader, when you hear a song like that, or see those kids on TV's "save the children" with flies all over them, think- what can you DO??? Happy thoughts & warm fuzzies & "Oh, isn't that sad?" sent their way does not lower infant mortality rates or reverse starvation. Like Nike says- JUST DO IT. I'm not saying everyone should go adopt an african baby, but I am saying you should DO that good deed you've been thinking about, like volunteering at the homeless shelter, visiting that elderly neighbor, or writing a friend a word or encouragement. Last time I checked, none of us were getting any younger. . If not today, when?
Carpe Diem, yo.

In other news, my cat, Brown Mouse, (otherwise known as Meow Tse Tung, or TheMostWonderfulBeautifulCatontheFaceofthePlanet, also known as my Cat Husband) has a rotten tooth. His stank breath has been really bad the last few weeks and multiple examinations of his upper teeth revealed only mild tartar, but I finally made him open his whole mouth only to find...the cause of Stank Breath, a rotten tooth. Oh, the horror! Although it does explain why, as Jenniwon said, "is that his breath or did he fart?" Ouch. I will squeeze him on my wednesday sx schedule for a tooth extraction. My baby! (my cat baby that is...)

Well, on that note, good night all. Good night, my little ones. One with me in my home & heart, and one only in my heart. For now.

Paper work is arriving...

2008-12-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

Good news, the first of our paperwork has arrived- our police background checks and child abuse clearance. Yesterday (Dec 3) we mailed the $250 deposit for our homestudy to begin that process. Still waiting on birth cert. from CA, that could take awhile. Yesterday my boss told me he wrote a "glowing recommendation" for us for adoption, but he still has to have it notarized. I'm blessed to have an employer who is so supportive, especially since it means I will be taking some maternity leave when the baby arrives, which is more work for him.
I stress constantly about whether or not to take Emilia along. I can't bear the thought of leaving her, but I'm equally freaked out to expose her to so many diseases her body would never have seen before. I also learned that 6 Us and europeans tourists have died from Yellow Fever since 1996. However, 7 people have died since 1996 of the Yellow fever vaccine. I would opt NOT to have the vaccine. But it's required for Rwanda. So my brain is spinning to find a way out of the vaccine. Yikes. I think I could get Emilia around the vaccine since she had a reaction to DPT vaccines (my good Dr. Kady may make the stretch for her) but *I* do not especially want to die of "multiple organ failure" from it either. Sigh.

In other news, my brother left for Iraq a few days ago (I don't know exactly when) so pray for his Safe return. And pray his brain gets adjusted and he realizes "kill thy neighbor" is NOT in the Bible. He is in intelligance unit so they are probably reading my blog so I'll just contain my opinions to that. And thank God my friend Wendy's lump in her breast turned out non cancerous.

So for now, it's hurry up, wait, and also figure out how to swap the yellow fever vaccine with saline... any suggestions or bribe-able health official tips would be appreciated.
As a final note, Emilia could be the most insanely cute organism on the face of the planet. She immites dozens of new words daily and knows "how many?" (but the answers is always "two") and know the words for turtle, fish, shark, dolphin, octopus, apple, banana, cheese, choclate, candy, hippo, cat, dog, duck, butterly, snake, caterpiller, bird, giraffe, elephant, zebra, house, shoe, key, lock (and where to put them!), forehead, chin, cheek, all the parts of the face, the letter "O" and so many other words I couldnt begin to list them all. We call her "Uber-Klug" our german word for smartest EVER baby. she will be such an awesome big sister. (oh, she says awesome and cool too :)

So it begins....

2008-11-29T19:54:00.001-08:00

The news is official, and I it's been so for about a month now, but I am just now starting to record the process!! We really made the decision to adopt just a little before Halloween. Emilia was 16 months old in October and we decided to put thoughts into action and begin to find our next child who's waiting patiently for us across the globe somewhere.

We told my Dad and Deb first, on Oct. 25. We were met with disbelief and attempts to talk us out of it, so we took a deep breath and told Bill's parents the next night, who responed with complete silence (Bill's dad) and change of subject (bill's mom) So, informing the parents was a D-, if I had to rate it.

We were not going to let negative attitudes discourage us. I really feel God is providing us this opportunity to care for one of His children, and the devil loves to throw hinderances out like tacks on the road. But we have spare tires, so on we go.

Luckily, my coworkers are very supportive. I think city people are much more open minded and infinitely less judgmental than suburbanites. Part of the reason we moved to the city. Isn't it ironic how "Christian Values" are thrown under the bus when it suddenly affects YOUR family, but my radically liberal (and generally non-religious friends) embraced the idea of helping the helpless. Just shows God is in their hearts too, whether they realize it or not :)

Nov 1-3 Weekend vacation with Bill's family at SAugerties, NY light house. A wonderful weekend and we all had a great, relaxing time. But we didn't mention the adoption at all.

Wed, Nov 19th. I had my pysical for adoption. The nurse missed my vein the first time. She had one more chance or I was walking out. luckily for her, she got it. :)

Thursday, Nov 20 Had a nice, serious talk with my dad about the adoption. I told him how I felt the Lord is calling us to do this, and every child is precious to God, whether he or she is our birth child or not. I told him of many events in my life that suddenly all lined up, clicked together and opened a huge door all at once when Bill and I decided to adopt a child. He was quiet for awhile and said if the Lord's hand is on this, it's meant to be. He mentioned that Bill's and my professions could make a child into a powerful force for good someday, if he or she every returned to Africa to help others. (engineering and medicine are desperatly needed there!) He ended the conversation telling us to "go get that baby!"
Friday, Nov 20- Now God worked a real miracle today . I had ended the conversation with dad the day earlier feeling much, much better about the adoption. But today made us both realize the adoption of this child is bigger than we both imagined- and God's orchestrating it from here on out. Dad was listening to the radio on his hour commute to work and called me in the car to tell me he heard a broadcast about a woman who adopted 2 teenage boys from Liberia. she talked about the resistance she met from her 5 friends initially, who all 5 later went on to end up adopting kids from Liberia too. Well, this went straight to Dad's heart and he called me (in tears, although he said it was a peanut stuck in his throat ;) and said the God's hand is on this adoption process and he was completely behind us. He even joked he thought he should adopt a child! He talked about God sending "verification" to people when you are needing it most. I don't think you can get an any less ambiguous message than the one my Dad got. Praise God! I get goosebumps thinking about this conversation between Dad and me. There was electricity in the form of the Holy spirit going through the phone line. We both felt it. I was utterly humbled and at complete peace knowing this is the work of God we are undertaking.

Don't just think about helping your others- DO something: Matthew 31-40
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, [6] you did it to me.’

In the paperwork front, I Mailed the request for my birth certificate off today.

Sat Nov 22- Mailed the police clearance request in the morning and the child abuse clearance in the evening from lancaster, where we met dad and Deb for dinner at our FAV mexican restaurant, el serrano's. i LOVE the ceviche. i could eat that pickled raw fish for breakfast lunch and dinner. YUM.

Thursday Nov 28- Thanksgiving. Printed the application for homsetudy. Feeling sluggish with paperwork. A hectice day on a tight schedulle as all our harrisburg holidays are. I wish there was a solution. Family A is Always mad becaseu we spent more time with family B, then family B gives guilt trips becuase we have to go visit family A, blah blah blah. But when we stay home for holidays there are tears and guilt-laden calls asking why we're not at home, how relatives A,B,and C want to see us, why didn't we come home. AAAAaaaaa. These are the times that try men's souls. I am so Thankful to God we have our families alive, healthy, and well. I just wish there was a solution to the reality that all of OUR holidays as a family are stress-laden, hectic, and miserable trying to please our extended families. We are unanimous that we do not enjoy holidays. Period. Solutions and Suggestions GREATLY appreciated.