When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, every passing day felt like we were drawing closer and closer into the eye of a hurricaine. A calm before a storm. Not just any storm, but a life changeing, life consuming, life-will-never-be-the-same-storm. Well, as the final 4 weeks tick by until our referral of our son or daughter, I feel as thoguh I am again the the eye of the hurricaine. But this time, I read about things like reactive attachment disorder, failure to bond, and "terminated adoptions" and I am sort of freaking out. It's just a harmless little baby, right? (Ha!) But, I do need to be prepared for the worst case scenario so I can be the best possible parent. I don't want to just hope "this won't happen to us" because it can. It's a risk you take adopting an institutionalized child. Just like you take a risk with a biological child, for genetic diseases, dangerous births, mental disorders, on and on. But I know I owe it to my son or daughter to give them this chance, and to give us this chanch, at becomming a family. I'm sure with any little problem that arises we will get "I told you so's" from our often less-than-supportive extended support network, but this is a limb we mentally have to prepare to go out on. I hope for the efforts our family with be stronger, our love extended, and the world a better place for one child and one family waiting to adopt that child. Taking the road less traveled has always been the one I prefer.
But, non-the-less, prayers and support are appreciated as we sit in the eye of a hurricaine. I can only trust in God, know He is the one who is sending us on this path and He won't give us more than we can handle.
In other news, I added a great song by Brook Frasier called Albertine. Every time I listen to it I get re-energized for our adoption, and I feel like i'm needing some energy these days. Not just because I have lyme disease either, but that doesn't help matters!
here is Brooke Frasier's video for Albertine (the name of a girl she met while in Rwanda)
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2 comments:
Hi Jen! Thanks for the genuine look into your heart! Although we are far behind you in the waiting, I can relate to your concerns, as I'm sure most adoptive parents can. I just have to remind myself that God's grace is sufficient: He'll give us what we need, when we need it. Cling to that as you face all those what-ifs. I can't wait to hear about your precious child when the info comes through!
Hi,
We just stumbled upon your blog as I was researching independent adoptions in Rwanda. Is there some resource you used to know what steps to take and who to contact w/o using an agency? I would like to save money where ever we can ( we area also adopting from Haiti) so is independent more affordable? Sorry to leave all these questions on your blog...if you don't mind emailing me: tbonoffski@hotmail.com, that would be great! :) Thanks so much!
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